


Rays of Being a Lunatic (A Dean Ambrose Story)

by shieldsgirl



Category: Dean Ambrose - Fandom, WWE
Genre: F/M, Fanfiction, Romance, Wrestling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 11:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 28,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4018624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shieldsgirl/pseuds/shieldsgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray Kingsley is a WWE Diva. She is in love with Seth Rollins and he shares her feelings. But they can't be together because of their positions in the company. But then Ray starts having feelings for a man she never thought she would have them for, Dean Ambrose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stylin' and Profilin'

Profile  
Name: Ray Natasha Kingsley  
Age: 26  
Born in: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania  
Looks: Dark brown hair, brown eyes Occupation: WWE Diva  
Inspirations: Lita, The Hardys, Bret Hart, Ric Flair, DX  
Favorite Wrestlers: Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose (To my dismay), Triple H, John Cena, Ric Flair, Bret Hart, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Lita, Trish Stratus  
Friends: A.J, Paige, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, John Cena, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Daniel Bryan  
Enemies: Randy Orton, Kane, The Wyatts, Rusev, Lana, Brock Lesnar  
Annoying people that I'm forced to be around: Dean Ambrose


	2. Life of a Diva

"Jon!" I reached for the muffin he was keeping away from me.  
"What? Oh, you want this?"  
"Yeah, why do you think I'm reaching for it?"  
"Because you want to be close to me." He said with a seductive smirk.  
I backed away. "As if. You can keep the muffin."  
He laughed, stuffed the muffin in his mouth and smirked. I hadn't eaten all day and that jerk decided to take the last muffin in catering away from me. I had it in my hands but no, he just had to snatch it away. Ugh, sometimes I wonder why I even stay at this job. But then I remember just how much I love this company and learn to just deal with it. Even if it means working with a guy like Jonathan Good. Oh and in case you're wondering, Jonathan, I and a whole bunch of other people are professional wrestlers. Yep, that's what I do for a living. I get body slammed, kicked, punched and taunted on a daily basis. But I'm not complaining. I love what I do and I wouldn't change a thing. I look over at Jon eating the last remains of my muffin. Well, maybe this company could deal without some people.  
"Hey, baby girl."  
I turned around and saw Joe behind me. Joe was one of my best friends in this business. He was kind and sweet and we hung out all the time. He may look like a violent big guy on television but on the inside, he was like a big teddy bear. Completely harmless unless you mess with the people he cares about. Well, then, you're pretty much out of luck on that one.  
"Hey, Joe. Good to see you."  
"Is Jon being nice to you?"  
"Never, like always."  
Joe turned to Jon. "Why can't you give the girl a break?"  
"They don't pay me enough to be nice."  
Joe and I rolled our eyes. Always with the sarcasm, Jon.  
"For you milady."  
I looked and saw Colby bent at the waist with a muffin in his hand.  
"Aw, thank you, Colby."  
I was crushing hard on Colby. He was sweet and funny and he cared about me. We thought about getting together but with being on the road all the time and both our careers going on the championship path, we decided it would be best to wait until our careers slowed down.  
"Aw, how sweet. Colby is so cute with his two toned hair and his banana muffins." Jon mocked me in a condescending voice.  
I whipped around. "Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you have to get angry about it."  
Jon shook his head. "Whatever."  
Colby and Joe went over to talk to Jon. They were the closest of friends I'd ever seen. They once formed a group called The Shield, that I completely adored. But then the company decided to make Seth a bad guy and the group ended. But even though they are enemies on screen, they are the best of friends backstage.  
"Ray, you have five minutes before your match."  
I nodded and told the guys goodbye. I ate my muffin while I waited for the last match to end. A tech guy came by and told me it was time. I stood and went through the curtain.


	3. Opportunities

"Introducing first from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Ray!"  
I walk down to the ring and people cheer loudly. I am fighting Alicia Fox tonight for a shot at the Diva's title at TLC. I get into the ring and wait for Alicia's music to hit. When it does, I feel a rush of adrenaline. I'm determined to win this match. Alicia gets into her corner and the bell rings. I Irish whip her into the turnbuckle and punch her until the referee pulls me away. Alicia then blindsides me and I get knocked down. She goes for the pin but I kick out at one. Alicia stands me up and drop kicks me. I fall to the mat but I get up and kick her. She falls backwards into the ropes and she goes for a clothesline but I jump over her. She runs into the ropes and I dropkick her and she falls through the ropes and falls out of the ring. I exit the ring and stand her up but she was prepared for it. I go to stand her up but she pushes me and I fall into the barricade. My head hits the barricade. My head is pounding and I hurt all over. Alicia gets back into the ring at the count of five. I stand up and get into the ring by the count of eight. Alicia attacks me and does a taunt to the crowd. That is her mistake. While she taunts, I stand up and get into position for my submission move, Rays of Sunshine. Dumb name but very effective. I grab her by her arms and jump up, landing my knees onto her back and fall forward. Alicia falls onto her face. I pull her arms backward and pin her legs down. She screams and taps out. My music hit and people start cheering. I got my hand raised and I go backstage. Colby is waiting for me and hugs me.  
"Congratulations! I'm so happy for you."  
"Thanks, Colby."  
Joe hugs me too but Jon just stands there. Colby has a match against Dolph Ziggler and I watch intently. He is so good in the ring and may I add, he looks great in that attire too. Being the bad guy makes him even more hot than he already was. Colby curb stomps Dolph onto the mat and wins. Colby meets up with us afterwards and all four of us head to the buses to go to the next town for Smackdown.


	4. Fangirling

We arrived at the town where we were hosting Smackdown. We went to the hotel first to freshen up for the day. I got dressed and went to the gym with Colby and then we went and ate breakfast. Then afterwards, I went to do a signing with The Bellas and then went to lunch with Joe, The Bellas, John Cena and Bryan Danielson. Then I got dressed again and went to the arena. Jon was already there getting ready for his match. He was fighting Cena tonight. Jon, Joe and John would be fighting in a Triple Threat Match at TLC Sunday for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Jon and Joe were excited to see out of the both of them who could beat John Cena and win the title. It was all testosterone to me but to them it was a battle. Jon was taping up his hands when I walked in.  
"Came to work a little early, didn't you?"  
Jon looked up and smirked. "Where's your boyfriend? You cling to him like life support."  
"Do I hint a bit of jealousy in your voice?"  
"Jealous? Of Colby? Sorry, baby. I could never be into you like that. You're too...well, dull for my tastes."  
That was rude. "Oh, I didn't mean jealous of him. I meant jealous of me. According to Tumblr, you've been into him for quite some time."  
Jon laughed. "Whatever, Ray. I have a match to prepare for. I don't have time to aid you and my fangirls through their obsession with me."  
"Obsession? With you? You really are a lunatic if you think that I have any feelings for you but disdain."  
"Hey, I can't help it if you are in love with me, Ray Kingsley."  
"In love with you? Now you are really talking crazy. The only time I could ever be in love with someone like you is in your dreams, Good."  
Jon smirked and walked over to me. He leaned down close to my ear and whispered, "It is in my dreams."  
He laughed and walked out of the room like the insane person he was.

Jon won his match against Cena and because Jon liked to celebrate everything, we went to a bar after Smackdown. I didn't drink much, only on special occasions. And Jon's win against Cena...it didn't really matter much to me. So, I was designated driver for the guys tonight, which I didn't really mind. Joe was out on the dance floor, which again showed how much of a fun loving guy he was. I was sitting with Colby while I watched Jon out of the corner of my eye. He was flirting with some blonde in a scantily clad dress. She had been at Smackdown, I believe, because I saw her holding a WWE merchandise bag on her arm. Jon was leaning close to her and she was laughing. If I was in her position I would be laughing at him. The whole ordeal was horrendous.  
"Wow."  
Colby had been reading something on his phone. I felt bad that he was kind of stuck here with me. I didn't really like bars. All the sweat and drinking and people rubbing up against each other. It just wasn't my scene. But I could tell Colby wanted to be out there in the crowd. But I was the 'dull girl' as Jon would put it.  
"What's up?" Colby asked when he looked up from his phone. He looked in the direction I was looking and shook his head.  
"It's completely revolting, Colby. He is playing on the fact that she is a fan, probably star struck over him and he is just using it to his advantage."  
"That's Jon for you. You know how he is."  
"I really wish I didn't. It would give me a clear mind at night not knowing about how good of a player Jonathan Good is."  
Colby laughed and I saw Jon walk over with the blonde.  
"Guys, this is Tasha. She's a fan." He slurred, clearly wasted.  
We both waved to the girl and she smiled.  
"Pay for my drinks?" Jon asked Colby as he grabbed his jacket.  
"Sure. You two need a ride? You both seem a little out of it."  
"Naw, I got it. I'll get a cab."  
Colby nodded and Jon led the girl through the crowd and out the door.  
I turned to Colby. "And as I said, completely disgusting."  
Colby smiled. "Don't worry about him or her. Come on, let's dance."  
I nodded and put Jon out of my mind. He was repulsive and yet so hot...wait, hot? No, no. I have had way too much to drink to think Jon was attractive.


	5. TLC (Part 1 of 2)

Finally, the day had arrived. Today was TLC and I was going to fight A.J for the Diva's Title. I was overly excited about our match tonight and so was she. April was one of my best girl friends in this business. She had a passion for this business that most people couldn't relate to besides me. Most girls did this for the money and fame. April and me, we did it for the fight. So to have me and my best friend spar in the four cornered ring for a title, that is what's 'best for business'. I got dressed as April went to the gym. I got a call from Colby to say to meet him for breakfast. I ate breakfast with Colby and then went to the gym. Jon was at the gym when I got there. He was lifting weights above his head with no shirt on. I wanted to look away but, I just couldn't.  
"Take a picture, babe, it'll last longer." Jon said as I stared.  
I finally turned away and went to stretch. "Jon, don't play me for one of your girls that fall all over you. Because I'm not like them."  
"Oh, I know. You're way tougher to get. It's probably the reason you had to settle for Colby."  
"I didn't settle for Colby."  
"Right, you just make a commitment to him that he refuses to accept because 'his career is getting big'. Sounds more like a rejection to your offer and you still pine after him because you think he is the only man you can get."  
I went to the weight bar and started lifting. "And what do you know about commitment? You've been with half the women in the country."  
"Don't insult me. It's more like 3/4's of the women in the country."  
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, Jon. It's still a lot. And you don't even care about them. I mean, that girl last night, you could have not cared any less about her."  
"You're jealous? Of the girl last night?"  
I stopped lifting. "I am not jealous. I'm just stating a fact. Because as long as Jonathan Good gets the woman, nothing else matters, right?"  
"I didn't sleep with that girl if that's what you're angry about."  
"Please, I know you."  
"No, really. We got in a cab and I took her home and then I went back to the hotel."  
"What?"  
"Yeah, I didn't even get her number or anything. I just took her home."  
"Wow, I'm proud of you, Jon."  
I struggled as I tried to the bar back to where it belonged. Jon came around me and helped me put it back into place. I turned around and Jon was close to me. We were just inches apart. He put his hand on my cheek and started to lean down to kiss me.  
"I-I need to go get ready."  
He stopped. "Yeah, me to." Jon stepped back from me and I walked back to the hotel room even more confused than the night before.

I got ready for the match and headed downstairs to meet with the guys. Colby and Joe were geared up for tonight and I put on a smile and acted like nothing was wrong. Jon, however, did not. He acted completely awkward around me. We got in the car and went to the arena. April was already there getting ready. I went to catering to have something to drink before the match. Jon stopped me in the hallway as I was going towards catering.  
"Let's not make this thing weird between us."  
"Ok, I wasn't the one acting weird, Jon."  
"I know. But I'm just putting it out there."  
"Ok? Well, thanks?"  
He nodded. "Good luck in your match."  
"Thanks, Jon."  
He walked off and I went to catering.

I walked through the curtain and got into the ring. People were cheering and they had been saying all week that they wanted me to win this match. April came down to the ring and flaunted her title. The bell rang and the match started. I went at April with all the force I had. Our match went on for about twenty minutes. But it ended with me slamming April into the mat and getting the three count. I had won the Diva's Championship.


	6. TLC (Part 2 of 2)

I got my hand raised but instead of my music playing, Stephanie McMahon's did. Steph got into the ring and clapped her hands mockingly.  
"Congrats, Ray. You did it. You are now the Diva's Champ."  
I picked up a microphone. "What do you want, Stephanie?"  
"I'm giving you the opportunity to join The Authority. We could use a girl like you. A champion full of charisma and class. The Authority could make you better. We can make you a star. Who knows, maybe even WWE World Heavyweight Champion someday, if you play your cards right."  
"Divas haven't fought Superstars since Lita and Trish were around. What makes me any different?"  
"Because I see a fire in you that no other Diva in this business has. If any woman could win the most prestigious title in the company, it would be you. And, Seth is in The Authority."  
"Seth? What does Seth have to do with anything?"  
"Come on, we all know you're in love with him. It's obvious. Come on, Ray, don't be stupid."  
"Sorry, Steph, but I have better plans than becoming a lap dog for The Authority. I actually have something called self respect."  
I walked away from her and got out onto to the apron.  
"You're making a mistake."  
I laughed. "The only mistake I could make is letting you control me."  
My music hit and I walked backstage. Colby and Joe hugged me. Stephanie came backstage and told me congratulations. Jon was nowhere to be found and I was honestly sad about it.

I sat backstage and watched Jon, Joe and Cena's match. It was quite entertaining. April and The Bellas watched with me. It started off with Joe and Jon attacking Cena but once they got rid of him, they started attacking each other. They were brutalizing each other. Cena got back in the ring and attacked Jon from behind and he went down. Cena attacked Joe but Joe speared him. The two men battled it out outside the ring. They were right in front of the announce table. Jon got up and jumped off the turnbuckle onto the both of them. Jon hit his arm on the way down against the announce table and it looked really bad. I wasn't exactly sure if that was supposed to happen or not. Medics started coming over to check on him and I got really worried. Cena and Joe continued the match even though I know Joe was just as worried as I was. Joe speared Cena and tried for the win but Cena kicked out at two. Jon was on a stretcher and they were trying to bring him back but he got off the stretcher and went back in the ring. He held his arm close to him and I could see in Joe's eyes that he was worried. That's when I knew, Jon was really injured. Jon kicked Joe and pushed him through the ropes. Jon gave Cena a Dirty Deeds and as he did, he cried out in pain. This was not good. I wish they would finish this match already. Jon pinned Cena for the win and Jon won the title. I jumped up in joy and Brie, Nikki and April were confused at my reaction. So was I. Colby's music hit and he cashed in his Money in the Bank contract. Why would Colby do this now? Colby curb stomped Jon into the mat, injuring him more and won the title. The pay per view ended and Jon was carried backstage. Colby came backstage too, all smiles.  
"Ray, did you see that?"  
"Yeah, I did. What were you thinking? You could have put Jon out."  
"I know. I'm sorry. They told me to go out and cash in anyways."  
"You could have told them no. That would've been what a friend would have done. I can't even believe that you would injure your best friend like that."  
"Ray..."  
"No, I'm going to check on Jon. Don't follow me."  
I went to the trainer's room and Colby didn't follow.

I found Jon nursing a wrapped up arm.  
"Hey, how are you feeling?"  
"Like crap. How do you think?"  
"I'm sorry, about Colby, I mean."  
"Your boyfriend is a real piece of work."  
"He's not my boyfriend. I told him I wasn't in the mood to celebrate a victory he won while you were injured."  
Jon looked up at me. "You said that?"  
"It was implied."  
Jon shook his head. "Implied. A lot of things can be implied. But it doesn't mean they are meant."  
"Like tonight when you 'implied' that things were weird between us?"  
"That was not implied, it was meant."  
"Ok, sure. It was meant. Whatever. The fact of the matter is that there is nothing between us but contempt for the other and nothing has to be weird."  
Jon contemplated this and then nodded. "Ok, agreed. Complete hatred."  
I nodded. "Exactly. Why do things have to get weird when there is nothing to get weird about?"  
Jon nodded. "Ok, you're right. Nothing weird."  
He smirked and it made things weird for me because in that moment, I lied to Jon's face. I wanted him.


	7. Bar Talks

I went back to the hotel. We would leave in the morning to head to a nearby town for RAW the next day. April and I went to bed as soon as we got back, tired out from TLC. At 3:00 in the morning, my phone rings.  
"Phone, no."  
"Ray, turn it off."  
I sighed and turned to see Jon's name pop up on the caller i.d.  
"It's Jon."  
April stays silent. I think she fell back asleep.  
I answered the phone and hear loud background noise.  
"Jon?"  
"Ray?"  
"Jon, what's going on? Where are you?"  
"I'm at a bar. Can you come and get me?"  
"Jon, I am not your babysitter."  
"Please, Ray. It's a bar downtown. I'll text you the address. Please, Ray. Come get me."  
He hangs up the phone and I groan. Great night sleep to me.

I walk into the bar and see Jon laying his head on the counter, asking for more beer. I walk up to him and hear him arguing with the bartender.  
"Buddy, I think you've had enough."  
"Have not."  
"Do you need me to call someone to come and get you?"  
"No, Ray is coming to get me. She'll be here, I know it."  
"Jon."  
Jon looks up and his bloodshot eyes lighten up upon my arrival. "Ray! See I told you she would get me."  
I turn to the bartender. "How much is his tab?"  
"Twenty."  
I put down twenty five and take Jon out of the bar. I lead him back to my rental car and put him in. I drive back to the hotel as he throws up out the window. When I park in the hotel parking lot, I get Jon out of the car and carry him to his room. I unlock his door and lay him on the bed and start to leave.  
"Don't leave. Please."  
I sigh and go back to him. "What?"  
"Just sit with me for awhile."  
I shake my head. "Fine."  
He smiles and takes my hand in his. "I'm sorry about tonight. I just felt like crap so I went drinking."  
"I don't think that drinking is going to help. It will just make you more depressed, Jon."  
"I know but I do it anyways. It blocks out everything else. The title, my job, you."  
"You want to block out me?"  
He nodded. "It's easier that way. I don't have to pretend."  
"Pretend?"  
"Pretend that I'm not jealous of Colby. That I'm not into you."  
"What?"  
He looks over at me. "I want you, Ray. But you love Colby and that is something I have to deal with. Why do you think I act like I hate you? It's easier for me to deal with the fact that you will never want me the way you want Colby. I act like a jerk to you because it is simpler if you hate me. If you felt anything different, I don't know what I'd do."  
"Jon..."  
"You can leave now, Ray."  
I nodded and went back to my room with Jon on my mind.

I woke up and met the boys downstairs. Jon was back to his usual self. I don't know if it was an act or if he simply didn't remember what he told me last night. Either way, I wasn't going to bring it up. If I brought it up, it would make it all real and I would have to admit that I was slowly falling for Jon. And I didn't want to deal with that reality for awhile. That reality was scary and it involved me wanting Jonathan Good.


	8. Goodbye

We arrived at RAW a few hours before showtime. I couldn't get Jon out of my head. Every time he would move, I would notice. Every time he spoke, I hung on every word. I thought about it the whole way to RAW. It wasn't fair to Colby to have feelings for someone else and still pretend that I wanted him. But did I have feelings for Jon? I wasn't sure. Maybe I was just intrigued or infatuated but then I was right back to where I started. Last night was an eye opener. Jon told me he wanted me. Jon wanted to be with me. And I felt something when he said that. I felt happy. So what exactly did that mean? Well it meant that I needed to end things with Colby to figure this out. It wasn't fair to him to string him along like this and forget my feelings/infatuation for Jon. I was going to tell him tonight that I needed time to figure things out.

When we got to RAW, Colby had to prepare for a match with Cena that night. Jon went to go see the doctors about his arm. The doctors told Jon that he would be out of action for a little while. This made Jon really upset that he would have to go home. Colby beat John Cena by disqualification. I had a match with Summer Rae tonight so I went to my locker room to prepare. I texted Colby to come meet me so we could talk. He came to my locker room thirty minutes afterwards.  
"Hey, you ready for your match with Summer?"  
"Sort of. Listen, I need to talk to you."  
"Ok." Colby sat down next to me.  
"I know that we said we would date when our careers slowed down. But the fact of the matter is, they are never going to slow down. And it's not fair to you or me to keep stringing this along when we know it is not going to work out."  
"What are you saying? You've changed your mind about me?"  
"Yes. Colby, I like you. I really do. It's just that...I know this guy and he really likes me and I kind of want to see where that relationship could go..."  
"But I'm standing in your way."  
"Colby..."  
"No, it's fine. I'm glad you told me, I guess."  
"I just didn't want to hurt you. I know we aren't dating but I still didn't want to see someone else without telling you first."  
"You basically wanted my permission to see some other guy. It's not like we're dating or anything, Ray. You're just some girl that happened to like me and I happened to love back. It's not a big deal."  
I could tell he was hurt. "Colby..."  
"Ray, just don't. It's ok. I'm going to go. I have packing I need to get done."  
He slammed the door on the way out and I sighed a breath of relief. I couldn't think about Colby right now. I had to get ready for my match.

My match with Summer Rae started out ok...I think. The last thing I remember was Summer knocking me out of the ring. After that, I don't remember much at all. I look around me and see bright lights and I'm in a dull looking room. Someone is holding my hand. I look over and see Jon.  
"Jon?"  
"Ray? Hey, you're awake."  
"What happened?"  
"Summer knocked you out of the ring and you fell and hit your head against the announcer's table. The doctor is saying you have a concussion."  
"Oh."  
"You've been asleep for a while. You passed out on the way to the hospital."  
"Ha, lame. How long will I be out?"  
"A week or two."  
"Great."  
"It's ok, I'll doctor you back to health."  
"Right, like I would want you to be my doctor."  
"I would make a great doctor."  
"Ha, you wish."  
Jon just laughed. I loved his laugh.  
"Do you need me to get you anything? Water, juice?"  
"Juice would be nice. Apple if they have it."  
"Coming right up."  
Jon got out of his chair and walked towards the door.  
"Thank you, doctor."  
Jon laughed and walked out. Jon wasn't such a bad guy.


	9. Jonathan Good

"Ray!"  
I got up and answered the door. Jon stood on the porch of my house with a bag in his hand.  
"I got Chinese." He smiled from ear to ear.  
"Come in, you dork."  
Jon entered my house and set the bag down on the table. Jon had been staying with me at my house in Pennsylvania ever since we got injured. Jon was actually really fun to be around when he wasn't drunk or flirting with women.  
"So, you want to watch RAW?"  
I nodded and we sat in front of the television with our sweet and sour chicken. I turned on the t.v and RAW was just starting and the first man to come out was Colby. I hadn't seen or spoken to Colby since he visited me one time in the hospital. He barely talked to me at all during that visit. I could understand why. He was hurt and I felt bad for hurting him since then. But Jon has helped me keep my mind off anything wrestling lately until we watch it on t.v. Even though he still doesn't know Colby and I were not a thing anymore. Jon was actually nice, which is weird to say. I looked over at him and he watched the screen intently. I looked and Colby was getting into the ring with a smirk on his face.  
"So, Dean Ambrose wants to sit at home and 'heal'. Wow, Dean, I didn't know you were scared of me. But I would be scared of me too. Because I'm the kind of guy you don't want to mess with, Dean. I'm the person who helped put you into remission and I would do it again. See, Dean? That's the kind of guy I am. I take up my problems with people face to face. I don't cower behind someone else, like Ray for instance, and hide at home like a coward. And that's why I'm champion, Dean, and you aren't."  
"Well, Colby sure had a lot to say about me." Jon just laughed.   
I felt sick to my stomach. 'Cower behind someone else, like Ray for instance'. Did Colby know or did he just say that for good television? I didn't know and I was scared to find out.  
"Ray, speaking of which, when was the last time you spoke to Colby? I would've thought that he would calling you everyday since your injury."  
"We haven't been speaking."  
"What, why?"  
"I broke it off."  
"You 'broke it off'? Why? I thought you were in love with Colby or whatever?"  
"I was but I developed feelings for someone else."  
"What? Who?"  
"Why do I need to tell you?"  
"Because I'm curious." He scooted closer to me.  
"I'm not telling you, Jon."  
Even closer. "Come on, tell me."  
"Just watch RAW."  
Even closer. So close we were almost face to face. "Ray, I promise I won't tell."  
"What are we in grade school now? Just leave it alone."  
"Ray..."  
I turned and kissed him. And it was amazing. I pulled away. Jon sat in shock. I was frozen. I just embarrassed myself in front of him.  
"Ray? What..."  
I jumped up. "You know, it's fine. Alright? Just forget it ever happened."  
I ran upstairs into my bedroom and lay down on my bed. I can not believe I just did that. I'm such an idiot. I heard the door open and heard Jon sit down on my bed next to me.  
"Go away, Jon."  
"Not until you tell me what that was down there. You hate me."  
"I don't hate you, Jon. These past few weeks, I've been thinking about you all the time. About being with you, kissing you, being the girl you go home to. I ended things with Colby because it wasn't fair to him for me to have feelings for you and leading him on."  
Jon lay down next to me and I looked at him. "Why didn't you talk to me about it?"  
"You said it yourself, Jon. Things would get weird between us. And then you told me the night after TLC that you wanted me and it just put things into perspective. I don't want Colby. I want you."  
Jon smiled and pressed his lips against mine.


	10. First Date

~Two Weeks Later~

Jon and I had returned to WWE. We were both healed somewhat. Colby found out that me and Jon were together. Colby had not talked to either of us since our returns. After RAW, Jon was planning to take me out on our first date. Jon did not seem like the romantic type but I considered that I could give it a try. After my match, I went and got dressed. I met Jon outside the arena. He was dressed in a black long sleeved shirt and jeans. He turned towards me when I walked outside. He looked surprised. No, he looked mesmerized.  
"Wow."  
"What?"  
"You look beautiful."  
I felt a blush coming on. "Whatever."  
"You do."  
Ok, now I know I was blushing. I smiled and got in his rental car. He drove to a nice restaurant and we were seated quickly.  
"So, Ray. Tell me about yourself."  
I laughed. "Really?"  
"I am attempting to make this date as cliché as I possibly can."  
I laughed. "Ok. I was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I got into wrestling when I was young. I always wanted to wrestle and my dad told me to go out and live my dreams. And I did. I started wrestling really early and I became addicted to it. I got an offer from TNA when I was 19 but then my dad got into alcohol so I decided to stay and help him get help."  
"And that's why you don't drink often? Because you saw him go through alcohol abuse?"  
I nodded. "I know how much of a horrible thing alcohol is. It can change someone you love into a monster. But anyways, I saw you guys, The Shield. You were so authentic. I could tell you loved the business and all three of you were amazing wrestlers. In that moment, I missed it. I knew right then, I had to start wrestling again. I wrestled because it was a release from my real life and soon I got a contract from WWE and joined. That's about it."  
"Wow. I didn't know that. Why have you never told me any of this?"  
"Because we weren't good friends, Jon. Actually, I haven't really told anyone my life story. I usually leave that part out."  
"How is your father now?"  
"My dad died."  
"Ray, I'm so sorry."  
"It's ok. It was awhile ago."  
Jon nodded. "Anything else?"  
"I like rock music and movies and wrestling. That's pretty much me in a nutshell. What about you?"  
Jon and I talked for hours and it was really fun. He was so cute and funny and really smart. I liked him a lot and I hoped this relationship won't end up with me getting my heart broken by the master heart breaker.

"I had a lot of fun."  
"So did I. Also, let me say again, how amazingly gorgeous you look in that dress."  
I giggled. Giggle? Where did that come from? I don't giggle. So embarrassing. "Thank you."  
Jon pulled me to him and kissed me. Wow, he was a really good kisser.  
"Ahem."  
Jon and I looked at the door. April stood in the doorway, with messy hair and looking angry.  
"Sorry, April. We didn't mean to wake you up."  
"Yeah, ok. Just hurry it up, will you?"  
April left us alone again and I kissed Jon quickly before heading inside the hotel room. I changed into my pjs and went to bed. Until April turned on the light.  
"Oh no, you can't wake me up and then not tell me how the date went."  
I turned over. "It was amazing. He is amazing. And he is a great kisser."  
"It comes with the experience."  
"April!"  
"What, I'm just speaking the truth. Look, are you sure you know what you are doing? I don't want to see you get your heart broken by him."  
"I know and I'm glad you care but trust me, it's fine. If my heart gets broken, so be it. I really like him, April."  
She smiled. "I haven't seen you this happy in awhile. Since Colby."  
I nodded.  
"Speaking of Colby, when are you going to fix that relationship? It's not like you can date his best friend and not talk to him."  
"What are you, my mother?"  
"No, I just, I don't want you to make a mistake and have your heart shattered by Jon and come out of this with more enemies than friends."  
"I will talk to him tomorrow. Happy now?"  
She smiled. "Yeah. Good night."  
"Good night."


	11. Colby

I walked into the arena where we were hosting Main Event. Colby was in his locker room and that is where I went first. I walked in and saw him making out with a blonde woman.  
"Colby."  
They both turned and looked at me and I finally saw who the blonde was.  
"Hey, Ashley." (Author's note: Ashley is Charlotte Flair from NXT)  
"Maybe you should go." Colby suggested.  
Ashley stood and smirked at me as she left the room.  
"Ashley? Really?"  
"She's hot."  
"Oh, is that what you've come down too? Making out with women you barely know because they're 'hot'?"  
"It worked for Jon, didn't it? Or do you choose to forget that's the kind of man he 'used to be'?"  
"How dare you."  
"How dare I? How dare you. Do I need to remind you that you are the one that is dating my best friend."  
"So, you think that making out with Ashley is getting back at me or something?"  
"It has nothing to do with getting back at you. See, I believe that if I stop being the 'nice guy' and become as big of a womanizer as Jon was or more correctly put, still is, then I can get as many women as I want. That whole nice guy act didn't work so I guess I need to become one of the biggest jerks and all the women will want me. And then, hopefully, I can forget that you and my best friend betrayed me."  
"I'm sorry, Colby, ok? I truly am sorry. I never meant for this to happen. We had something, Colby. That's true. But we both know it would not have gone anywhere. We were going to wait until our careers slowed down. But that was an excuse. We were afraid. I can not tell you how sorry I am. I never meant to fall for Jon. And I know that it is going to take some time but I want you to know that I still want to be your friend."  
He scoffed. "Really?"  
"Yes, really. I don't want to lose you because of this. I still care about you, in love with you or not. Can we just try to go back to when we were friends?"  
"No, I don't think we can. Not now anyway. I can't even think about that. You and Jon, you both hurt me. The girl I loved and my best friend...I just can't think about friendship right now. With either of you."  
I nodded. "I understand. But if you ever do come around and feel like we can become friends again, you know where to find me."  
He nodded and I walked out of his locker room.

April found me later before my match.  
"How did it go with Colby?"  
"He hates me."  
"I bet that's not true. He just needs time, you know?"  
"Maybe."  
"If he really still cares about you, he'll come around."

I fought Paige and won. Jon met me backstage and we watched Joe's match. All three of us went out to eat but it felt weird without Colby. It was like a gaping hole. After dinner, we got a rental car and left to the next town. We were not preforming at Smackdown or any other shows so we would have about a week of a break between tonight and Royal Rumble. And I planned to make the most of it. I looked over at Jon and he smiled as we drove away.


	12. Joe

I got a call early in the morning and I reached over and saw it was Joe. I saw April had already left and the clock read 8. I answered and Joe's deep voice came in on the other end.  
"Ray, get up."  
"Joe, what do you want?"  
"Let's go do something."  
"Can't I just sleep in?"  
"No, get up, girl. Let's go do something fun."  
"Can't you go bother Jon?"  
"No, he already left. He's at the gym. He said to bug you instead."  
I groaned. "And then I wonder why I am trying to date that man."  
Joe's deep laughter rang through. "I'm outside your door and I will stay out here until you get ready and go somewhere with me."  
"Fine, give me a little bit."  
"Ok."  
I hung up and groaned. I got up and got dressed. I grabbed my stuff and walked out the door and met up with Joe.  
"Well, don't you look pretty."  
"Shut up, loser. What is so important that you had to wake me up from my sleep?"  
"I'm taking you out on the town."  
"Why?"  
"Because I feel that we never hang out and with you going and breaking up The Shield..."  
"Really? I broke up The Shield?"  
He laughed. "I thought it would be best to get your opinion on the situation."  
"Well, my opinion is that you better have something fun planned or I am going back to bed."  
He smiled and led me to his car.

"An arcade? Don't you think we are a little too old to be playing at an arcade?"  
"Um, no. Arcades are the best."  
"Ok, fine. I will play your little game, Joe."  
"Good."  
Joe led me into the arcade that smelled of pizza and sweat. I loved arcades when I was a little kid but I hadn't been to one since then. Joe led me to the table to buy tokens and we went around the arcade. At first, I was just acting like I was having fun so I didn't hurt Joe's feelings but after awhile, I actually got into it. Joe and I spent the afternoon winning tickets and facing off in rounds of air hockey. Afterwards, we turned in our tickets to get a prize. Joe used his tickets and mine to get a giant bunny for his daughter. We sat down with a large pizza and coke.  
"Wow, I can not remember the last time I had pizza."  
"You haven't eaten pizza? Why?"  
"I have to stay fit. You on the other hand, can eat all the carbs you want to."  
"That's not true, Ray. You could eat carbs if you wanted to."  
"Sure, whatever." I said as I bit into a slice.  
Joe dropped the subject and shook his head. "So, tell me. You and Jon."  
"What about me and Jon?"  
"What is it? Do you love him?"  
"Joe, we only went out on one date. I don't know if I love him or not."  
"Do you feel anything for him?"  
"Yes, I do. What's with the twenty questions, Joe?"  
"Look, all three of you are my best friends. You hurt Colby, but he will get over it. And I don't want you and Jon to end and both of you get hurt. I don't want all this pain to be for nothing."  
"You don't want me to hurt them?"  
"Yes and I don't want you to hurt yourself either. We all know what kind of man Jon is but I've seen the way he looks at you. He's never looked at anyone that way before. I just want to know that this is going somewhere."  
"I don't know if it is or isn't. I want it to. I really like him, Joe. And I don't know if this is going to be serious or if we fall in love. But I hope that this isn't just a game to him. I hope that he feels the same way I do."  
Joe just smiled. "I think he does."  
"Well, then, there is your answer."  
Joe and I finished our pizza and played some more games, Joe won me a stuffed bear and then took me back to the hotel. I kept thinking about Joe's question. Was this love?


	13. Talking it Out

The rest of our days went by smoothly. Jon, Joe and I spent our days off watching movies, eating pizza and hanging out. The Royal Rumble was this Sunday and WWE called telling us what our matches were. I had a match against Brie to defend my Diva's Championship. As for the boys, Jon and Joe were in the Rumble. April arrived into town on Friday and I hung out with her for awhile. Things got awkward though when Colby came into town a few hours after April. And his room was right across from mine. And every time when we would run into each other, things would be weird and we would ignore each other. That's why I was surprised when I got a message from Colby asking me to meet him in his room to talk. I got up and went to Colby's room and knocked on his door. He answered and I sat down in a chair across from him.  
"What do you want, Colby?"  
"Answers."  
"Answers? About us? I was pretty sure I was clear but if you want to know anything else, ask away."  
"Why him? Why did it have to be him?"  
"...I don't know. It just happened."  
"It just happened? That's all you have to say?"  
I nodded. "I'm so sorry, Colby."  
He stood and turned his back from me.  
"Look, I don't know how many times I'm going to have to say sorry to you before you realize I'm sincere. Colby, what we had wasn't real."  
He looked at me over his shoulder. "That's a lie. I loved you."  
"No. No, Colby, you didn't."  
He whipped around. "Don't tell me how I felt, Ray!"  
I cringed and he took a deep breath before turning his back to me once more.  
"Colby, you can deny it all you want but it is true. We were not willing to put our jobs on the line or trust one another. That isn't love, that's an acquaintanceship. You knew I had a hard time trusting people."  
"And I still don't know why."  
"It doesn't matter why. All that matters is that we were never right for each other, Colby. We didn't love each other because we wanted to be together. We said we loved each other because it was safe. We weren't lovers, we were safety nets. We thought that if we actually gave in and took a risk and fell in love, that everything we worked hard for would shatter to pieces. We weren't willing to sacrifice it all."  
"But you're willing to sacrifice it for him?"  
"I don't know. Maybe. I hope I can one day sacrifice things to love. Whether it's with Jon or someone else. I want to say I love you and mean it and know what it means. I know you'll find that girl that you can say I love you and mean it too. But that girl is not me."  
He nodded. "Ok. I get it."  
"I really am sorry, Colby. For what it's worth, I do still care about you and nothing in this world can change that. Not Jon, not you or anyone else. Or anything else. You are still my best friend and I want him back."  
He just nodded. "You can leave now."  
"Ok."  
I touched his shoulder and started towards the door.  
"Ray?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thank you."  
"Yep."  
I walked out of the room and shut the door. I went to my room, unlocked the door, went in and cried. I wasn't sure why I was crying. I don't know if it was over Colby or something else. I wasn't really sure of anything anymore.


	14. Road to the Rumble

Today was the day. After my conversation with Colby, I pretty much just stayed in my room. Jon came by a couple of times to check on me but that was about it. I got up and got dressed to go to the arena. I packed up my ring gear and walked out the door. Jon, Joe and April met me in the lobby and we all hopped in the van to go to the arena.   
"So, I haven't see you these past few days. Where have you been, girl?" Joe asked me.  
"Just in my room. I haven't really felt like being around people."  
Joe went to shut the van door but Colby jumped in.  
"Can I get a ride?"  
"Sure." Joe said.  
Colby scooted into the back and I was stuck in the middle between Jon and Colby. Yep, this could not get anymore weird.  
"Hey, Joe?"  
"Yeah?"  
"We have room for one more, don't we?"  
"Sure. Who else needs a ride?"  
"Me."  
I turned and saw Ashley standing next to our van. Yep, as fate would have it, it got more weird. Ashley climbed into the seat next to Joe and the door was finally shut. The driver started the van and we started moving.  
Ashley turned around and started talking to Colby. "So, what are you doing after the show?"  
"I don't know, probably going to bed."  
"Aw, you're no fun. Let's go somewhere. Let's do something fun."  
"Yeah, Colby. Why don't you go do something fun?" Joe butted in. I wanted to smack him.  
"Ashley, really. I just want to turn in early tonight."  
Ashley shrugged. "Fine. What about you, Jon? You up for some partying?"  
"I have plans."  
"What? Are you kidding? With who?"  
"Ray and I are hanging out tonight."  
Ashley rolled her eyes and turned back around. "Wow, Ray. You sure do get around the locker room. But I would expect that from someone who is best friends with April."  
April whipped around. "For one thing, all of that was for story line. Second thing, if you do not stop talking about me and my best friend like we aren't here, I'm going to slap you."  
Thank you, April.  
"Please, April. We all know with you being on the road all the time has got to put a strain on your marriage. It's only a matter of time before fiction becomes reality."  
"I'm not the one flirting with every guy in the van, Ashley. Oh and in case you're wondering, my marriage is just fine, thank you. So, that whole speech about fiction and reality, it doesn't work with me."  
"Whatever." Ashley shut her mouth. Finally. I thought she would never stop talking.  
The rest of the ride to the arena was in complete silence. Which was peaceful for once. Jon held my hand the whole ride there. I saw Colby roll his eyes at us a couple of times but he didn't acknowledge it aloud. Yep, this was definitely an awkward car ride.

When we arrived at the arena, everyone basically ran out of the van. Couldn't blame them. I hoped Ashley could get another ride with someone else. April went off to get ready. She was going to be a special ring commentator during my match with Brie. April had given up her rematch because she wanted me to have the title for awhile. I told her that if she ever did want a rematch, it was hers. Jon kissed me goodbye before heading off with Joe to get ready for the Rumble. I saw Colby walk by me with pain in his eyes. I shook my head before walking to the Diva's locker room to prepare for my match.


	15. Royal Rumble

I went out to the ring and fought Brie. Brie was one of the best Divas back in that locker room, in my opinion. I had fought Brie many times before and each time I got in the ring with her, our matches were epic. She was always on her A game and never let me get in any hits. April was on the sidelines, bad mouthing me and Brie. I ended the match with hitting Brie with Rays of Sunshine and getting the three count. After the match, Brie hugged me and raised my hand. As Brie left the ring, April got in and hit me in the back of the head. Brie got back in the ring and we both knocked April out of the ring. I raised Brie's hand and we went backstage. Jon was waiting for me and he congratulated me. Joe, Jon and I watched the next matches of the pay per view together until Joe and Jon had to leave to go to the Rumble. I watched the screen intently. Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton were the first contestants. They fought for awhile until Big Show came out. Big Show knocked Randy out of the ring. Good. I always hated that guy. Daniel and Show battled it out until the next guy came out. Big Show got eliminated by five guys and the ninth guy came out after Big Show got eliminated. It was Joe. Joe started fighting all the guys until he was the only one standing. Other guys came out and people got eliminated. Daniel got eliminated around the time the twentieth guy came out. Brie yelled as Daniel fell out of the ring. Jon still had not entered the Rumble yet. I was happy about this. It made his chances better at winning the Rumble. Cena entered at number twenty eight and he eliminated Joe. Nikki squealed as Cena stood in the middle of the ring. There were only three other guys in the ring with Cena until number twenty nine came out, it was Dolph. Cena and Dolph eliminated the three remaining guys and battled it out. The clock started to strike and I knew it had to be Jon. The crowd chanted until the buzzer blasted and number thirty came out. And it was Jon. Jon made his way down to the ring but out of nowhere, Colby attacked Jon on the ramp. The two started fighting and Colby threw Jon into a barricade. I gasped and Colby left Jon at the barricade. Jon couldn't stand. EMTs came out to check on Jon. The cameras went back to the Rumble and Cena was trying to eliminate Dolph. Dolph countered and hit Cena with the Zig Zag. Dolph knocked Cena into the ropes and threw Cena over. Dolph started celebrating but then Jon got into the ring and threw Dolph over the ropes and won the Rumble. I jumped up as the crowd cheered. Jon's music hit and he celebrated in the ring. Joe came out and raised Jon's hand. The pay per view ended and Jon met me backstage. I ran to him and hugged him.  
"That was amazing! I'm so proud of you."  
"Hello to you too."  
I smiled and kissed Jon. I was so elated and so happy for him. I did not see Jon winning the Rumble. But he did it. And now he was going to Wrestlemania and fighting Colby for the title...wow this could get really weird. Everyone crowded around Jon and told him congrats and then Jon, Joe and I went back to the hotel. We stayed up, ate pizza and watched movies until we all got tired. Joe left but Jon stayed with me a little while longer.  
"You should go to bed, Jon. We've all had a long night."  
"I know but I don't want to leave yet."  
Jon kissed me and I loved the feel of his lips on mine. I didn't want to say it but, I didn't want him to leave either.  
Jon pulled away. "You're amazing."  
I laughed. "I know."  
He laughed and playfully pushed me. "You know I care about you, right?"  
I nodded.  
"And I have had the greatest time spending time with you. I've never felt like this with someone before."  
"I know what you mean."  
He smiled. "Do you?"  
"Yes. I do."  
He kissed me again and when he pulled away, he held my face there for a couple of minutes. "Ray, I love you."  
I froze.  
"You don't have to say it back if you aren't ready. I just wanted to put it out there." He gave me one of his signature smirks, kissed my forehead and left me sitting in shock.


	16. Baby, I'm Dean Ambrose

I walked outside and saw Jon eating breakfast with Joe. As soon as Joe saw me walking towards them, he started to get up.  
"No, Joe. It's fine, you can stay."  
Jon turned to me. "What's up, Ray?"  
"What's up? You tell me you love me and then you leave. Not even giving me a chance to say anything."  
"Look, Ray, I can tell when a woman doesn't like what I had to say. Last night, you weren't ready for me to tell you what I did. But I was ready and I've always been a bit of a risk taker. So, I said what I needed to say and then I am going to let you contemplate it. It's that simple. Now, if you don't feel them same way, just say it. It will hurt me a lot less than if you string me along. Ok?"  
Jon stood from the table and started walking back to the elevator. I looked to Joe to see if he could decipher what just happened. Joe just shook his head and shrugged.  
"I swear that man confuses me to no end."  
I ran to the elevator and got on just as the doors were about to close.  
"What floor?" He said, smiling from ear to ear.  
"Jon." I said exasperated.  
"Four it is then."  
"You can't just use your sarcastic humor to ignore the situation like you always do."  
"I didn't know I was being funny."  
"You aren't even giving me a chance to tell you..."  
"Ray, please. Just don't. Ok?" He plastered on a smile.  
"Jon..."  
"Ray, it's ok. I'm not trying to humor you. I'm trying to give you time to think about things..."  
"Jon." I said but he ignored me.  
"...and I think the best way to let you decide is to give you space."  
"Jon." I said with more force but yet again he ignored me.  
"But you think if we 'talk this out', that everything will be ok. Remember when you tried to talk things out with Colby? Look how that turned out."  
"Jon!"  
"Ok, sorry. That was crossing a line. But I was just giving you an example. You know, Ray, you really shouldn't yell at people, it's really rude and..."  
I turned his face towards mine. "Shut up, Jon! Let me just tell you that I love you!"  
Realization crossed his face. "Oh."  
"Yeah. Maybe if you would stop being a blabbering lunatic, I could have said it sooner."  
"Oh, a blabbering lunatic. I don't know if I can love someone who could be so mean to me." He said jokingly.  
"You could not dump this." I said joking and gesturing to myself.  
"Oh, really?" He said as he got closer to me.  
"Yep, really."  
"Sweetheart, let's be honest. I could breakup with you a lot easier than you could breakup with me." He said, closing more of the space between us.  
"Oh, yeah? And why is that?"  
"Baby, I'm Dean Ambrose."  
I just shook my head and we kissed as the elevator went up. Jon pushed all the buttons and the elevator stopped on a random floor.  
"Wow. This just got awkward."  
Jon and I stopped kissing and we saw Joe and Colby standing in front of the elevator.  
"Seriously, guys. Get a room." Joe said as both men stepped on the elevator. Both of us scooted over and the doors closed. Everyone was silent as the elevator rose to floor four. Jon and I suppressed our laughter until Colby and Joe got off. I led Jon back to my room and he helped me pack my stuff. I got dressed to go to the arena and met Jon on the bus. We sat next to each other as we went to the arena for RAW.

Jon had a promo to cut on RAW but no matches. Jon met up with me after his promo and we hung out backstage until we had to get back on the bus to go to a nearby town to tape Smackdown. Joe also rode on our bus with us. Even Colby joined us, which was a surprise and I finally thought my life was getting better for once.

Author's Note: Sorry for not saying his real name when he says he is Dean Ambrose. I just thought it sounded better saying Dean Ambrose instead of Jonathan Good. I really loved writing this chapter because it showed his sarcastic side and I hoped you enjoyed reading it.


	17. Risks

Smackdown was uneventful. Jon and Joe had a tag team match against Randy and Colby. Some of the Divas kept coming over to me all through the show and asking me how the kiss with Jon was. One of the fans, I assume, took a shot of Jon and I kissing in the elevator and now it was all over the internet. Great, that was fantastic. I shook it off and tried to forget about it. Jon, Joe and I were hanging out backstage after the show when April came over to us.  
"Ray?" April said with a plastered smile on.  
"I have a feeling it's bad."  
"Mark and Jane want to talk to you."  
"Oh, great."  
Mark Carrano and Jane Geddes worked in Talent Relations. Really the only time they want to talk to you is if you are in trouble or they want to talk to you about story line details or promotions. Since I already had a story line in place and I was Diva's Champion, that ruled out story line and promotion. And since my kiss with Jon was plastered all over the internet, I figured I was in trouble. I stood and started to follow April.  
"Oh, not just you, Ray. Jon too."  
"Me? Why?"  
"Don't know. They just sent me."  
Jon and I followed April to Mark's office. Yep. If I didn't know if it was about the kiss before, I sure knew it now. April left as we entered Mark's office.  
"Can you shut the door?" Mark asked.  
Jon nodded and shut it as he sat down next to me.  
Jane started in. "We have been seeing the picture everywhere."  
"Mark, Jane. I'm sorry. I didn't know it would get this out of hand. I know this ruins some things especially with the Colby story line you guys wanted. But don't punish Jon, ok? It's honestly my fault."  
"You think you're in trouble?" Jane asked.  
"Isn't that why you called us in here?"  
"No, we're actually telling you that your kiss makes for a more interesting story line."  
Jon interrupted. "Which is?"  
Mark smiled. "Creative team wants this to become something. Think about it. These past few months, fans thought that Ray has been with Colby all this time. Ray got injured at TLC and she turns to Colby for comfort as she heals. But Colby can't care for Ray. He just won his title and can't take off work. So who does Ray turn to for comfort? Jonathan. The girlfriend and the former best friend. This betrayal could really help gear the fans up for Wrestlemania. Just like with Colby's betrayal of The Shield, this could really help take all three of your careers far. And of course the girls will love it. What do you think?"  
"I don't know. A love story won't do a lot of good to hype up a match." I said uneasily.  
Jane shook her head. "Ray, it's not the love story that will hype up the match. It's the betrayal that will ultimately lead to the boys fighting and having the most epic match at Wrestlemania. We need a story line to go with the title match. Otherwise, it's just a title match."  
I looked to Jon. I couldn't really see Jon going for something like this. It didn't seem to be in Dean Ambrose's character to be the lovesick puppy.  
Jon also seemed unsure. "I don't know, either. I want to do it because it makes sense but I'm not making the decision. Ray?"  
"Hm?"  
"Do you want to do it?"  
"I mean, it's a good idea and I think the girls will like it but it seems out of character for Dean Ambrose."  
Mark nodded. "You're right. It does. But people know you two are together. So, it might not exactly be out of character. And anyways, it's not like we are asking you two to become lovey dovey on camera. We would focus more on the fact that you got together with Colby's former partner. This isn't going to be a Brie and Daniel Bryan story. Think of it more like an Edge, Lita and Matt Hardy story."  
Jon looked to me. "So, Ray, what do you think? I'll do the story if you will."  
I thought about it. This could make or break our careers. But if Jon and I were willing to put our relationship in the public eye, we might as well go all in, right? That's what happened with Colby and I. We weren't ready to risk our jobs for each other. It's time I took a risk. "Ok, fine. Let's get a script ready."


	18. Backstory

After Smackdown, all of us met up on the bus. Jon and I got our scripts and we were having a tough time trying to read it. We got Joe and April to sit down and help us through it. Colby was disgusted by the mere thought of watching it so he was sitting in one of the bunks in the back listening to music.  
"Ok. Start from the beginning." April said as she sat down next to Joe.  
"Ok." I sighed and cleared my throat. "So, now that this relationship is public, I can spill all of my secrets. I was never really in love with Seth."  
"You were just using him?"  
"Of course. I would never be in love with that lovesick puppy. It was always you, Dean."  
"Oh, really?"  
"Yeah. I've always been into the crazies."  
"Well, you've come to the right place."  
I laughed. "This is just awful."  
"I agree. I would never say any of this." Jon said.  
Joe sighed. "It's not about you and Ray. It's about Dean and Ray. It's different. Go again."  
I sighed in frustration. "So, now that this relationship is public, I can spill all my secrets. I was never really in love with Seth."  
"Ugh!"  
I looked behind me and saw Colby get up from the bunk and walk towards us. He grabbed Jon's script and faced me. "This is pure torture. You sound completely bored. Let me fix this before we all die of boredom."  
"Ok."  
"Start again and this time try and act like you're actually into him."  
I cleared my throat. "So, now that this relationship is public..."  
"No, you still sound bored. Sound seductive. Improvise."  
"Ok." I looked down at my script and started again. "Well, Dean. Now that everyone knows about us, I might as well share all my secrets."  
Colby laughed. "I know all of your secrets."  
"Oh, like the one about me not even being in love with Seth Rollins?"  
"You were using him. You weren't actually in love with him."  
"How could I be in love with that lovesick puppy lap dog." I walked forward and got close to Colby. "It was you I always after." I leaned in and whispered in his ear. "I was always into the crazies."  
"Well, you're with the right man then. I'm unhinged."  
I giggled.  
"And end scene." Colby said as he tossed the script back to Jon before going back to his bunk.  
Joe cleared his throat. "From the beginning."

"You know I am sorry about the whole script thing with Colby."  
I was sitting next to Jon on the bus. Everyone else was asleep in their bunks as Jon and I talked.  
"It's fine."  
"It's just because I know him better."  
"Ray, I said it was fine. It was actually kind of hot seeing you like that."  
"Ew, Jon, you perv."  
He smirked and stuck his tongue out at me. I pushed him playfully in the shoulder.  
"So, if you know him better, let me get to know you."  
"I've told you basically everything. What more do you want to know?"  
"Tell me something no one else would know."  
"I don't know. Trust isn't really something I possess."  
"How about I go first. Until wrestling, I felt like no one actually cared about me. I grew up thinking that no one even loved me. But now that I'm famous, everyone cares and I feel fake but that I'm worth something."  
"Jon...people don't love you because you're famous. They love you because you're you. They love you for who you are."  
He smiled.  
"So, I guess this means I have to say something?"  
He nodded.  
I took a deep breath. "I told you my dad was into alcohol. But I never told you why. When I was ten, my mom left. She had been cheating on my dad and decided she wanted to leave my dad for the guy she cheated with. One day, I come home from school and my dad is crying and my mom's stuff has disappeared. My dad started drinking and I basically had to fend for myself and take care of him. When I was eighteen, I wondered a lot about her. So I tracked her down and she had a new family." I started to cry. "I wondered how she could leave me when I needed her most. How could my dad turn to alcohol and forget me completely. What was so wrong with me? Why didn't either of them love me? They were my parents, my family. But I meant absolutely nothing to them. What was wrong with me?"  
Jon pulled me into his arms. "The real question is, what's wrong with them."  
I lay on Jon as he held me. We just sat there in each other's arms until we fell asleep.


	19. Joe's Home

I felt a foot in my side when I woke up the next morning. I rubbed my eyes and saw Colby towering over my figure.  
"Wake up. We're here."  
Colby left the bus and I shook Jon. He woke up too and we both got off the bus. We entered the hotel and went straight to our rooms. We were in Florida and Joe wanted us to eat lunch at his house today. I got dressed and met all of our gang outside. Joe's fiancée, Galina, was already parked out front. I saw Joe set down his bags as his daughter, Joelle, came running to him. "Daddy!"  
"Hey, baby girl. Hey, I got you something."  
Joe pulled out the giant stuffed bunny from under the bus. Joelle's eyes went wide and she hugged the bunny. "Thank you so much, daddy!"  
"Don't thank just me. Ray helped get it for you too."  
She turned to me. "Thank you, Ray."  
A smile spread across my face. "You're welcome."  
She laughed and jumped into her father's arms. I saw Galina walk towards us.  
"Mommy, look what daddy and Ray got for me."  
Galina smiled and shook her head. "Like she doesn't have enough stuffed animals already."  
"So I like to spoil her."  
"Yeah, so he likes to spoil me, mommy."  
Joe put a finger over his lips and she mimicked the motion. We all climbed into Joe's car and we headed to his house. Jon sat in the back with Joelle as she showed him her book she got. He was so sweet with her and I never would have thought of Jon that way before now. It was amazing how fast things could change. I turned back around in my seat and Joe was grinning from ear to ear. I had been caught staring at Jon. I shook my head and he wiggled his eyebrows. I pushed him and he laughed as he turned back in his seat. I looked back one more time at Jon and he just smiled.

"Thank you so much. Lunch was amazing."  
"Oh, thank you. It's not everyday we get guests over so I went all out."  
"It was very good, sweetheart." Joe said as he kissed Galina. I looked at them. So happy, so carefree. Joelle had a great life here. With parents who loved her. I felt something tug at my shirt and I looked over and saw Joelle.  
"You want to see my room?"  
"Joelle..." Joe started.  
"No, it's cool. Sure."  
Joelle smiled and led me to a room decked in blue and purple. She sat me down on her bed and showed me all of her stuffed animals. She then made me sit on the floor and she asked me to read one of her books to her. She curled up in my lap and I read to her until she fell asleep.  
"Did your reading put her to sleep?"  
I looked behind me and saw Jon grinning in the doorway. I lifted Joelle in my arms and tucked her into bed. I followed Jon out of her room and shut the door.  
"Have you been spying on me, Mr. Good?"  
"And what if I was?"  
I shook my head and kissed him before leading him back into the living room. I saw Joe and Colby sitting on the couch and watching the television intently. Jon let go of my hand and went to sit with guys. Galina walked in and shook her head.  
"They've been watching wrestling while you were gone."  
"Oh. Well, you always have to improve your skill, I guess? Or maybe they are just overly addicted to it."  
She sighed. "Sometimes I can never understand."  
I laughed. "Me either."  
She laughed too before sitting next to Joe. Joe smiled and kissed her. My chest ached seeing them together, happy, raising a daughter they loved more than anything and suddenly, I wanted that. I stepped outside and called someone I never thought I would ever in my entire life. The phone rang for a couple of seconds before someone answered on the other end.  
"Hello?"  
"Hey, mom. This is Ray."


	20. Mom

"Mom?"  
I heard the other person clear their throat. "Ray, I was not expecting this. How have you been?"  
"Like you care."  
My mom stayed silent.  
Keep your cool, Ray. "Sorry."  
"It's ok. You have a right to be angry with me. How's your father?"  
"He...passed."  
My mom gasped. "When?"  
"Six years ago."  
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Ray."  
"It's fine. After you left, he tuned himself out from me and the rest of the world so it was like he wasn't even there."  
"It was that bad?"  
"He drank himself to death, mom. Or should I even call you that?"  
"Look, I know you must hate me but I am still your mother, biologically."  
"No, you're someone else's mother now."  
"What are you..."  
"I found you when I was eighteen. I saw you with your new daughter. What's she like? Is she a better daughter than I was? Does she play with Barbie dolls and braid hair? Because you and I both know how much you hated me wrestling and doing a 'guy' sport."  
"Me leaving your father had nothing to do with you or wrestling. I just fell in love with someone else."  
Like mother like daughter. No, I didn't want to be compared to her. The thought made me angry. "You left me when I needed you most! I can no longer trust anyone because of you. I'm in love with this amazing guy but I can't even be honest half the time with him because of what you did to me!"  
"Ray, I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It just happened. I loved you so much. And it hurt me to leave you."  
Tears fell down my face. "Then why didn't you take me with you?"  
"Because I knew that if I took you too, it would've been too much for your father to handle. And I know that is the worst excuse but it is the truth. Please understand that I loved you and still love you." I heard crying on the other end. "Listen, Ray. Maybe we can meet somewhere and we can talk. I live in Florida now. I heard WWE was down here. Maybe you can meet me?"  
"How do you know I'm in WWE?"  
"Just because I left doesn't mean I didn't think about you everyday and know what was going on in your life. You're an amazing wrestler, sweetie. You're so talented and I'm so proud of you and what you have accomplished."  
I don't know how many times I dreamed of her saying that.  
I heard sniffles. "Can you just meet me maybe? I'll text you the address to my office and if you want to meet, you can go there. And if you don't show up, I'll understand. Just give me a chance, Ray. Give me a chance to explain and mend this."  
"I'll think about it."  
"Ok, goodbye."  
"Bye."  
I hung up the phone and wiped my tears.  
"Are you going to do it?"  
I turned and saw Jon standing in the doorway.  
"I don't know. I want to see her but I feel like if I do, I might cry. I don't want to be vulnerable in front of her."  
"You want my opinion?"  
"Sure."  
"I think that you wouldn't have called your mom if you didn't want answers. I think that you wanted to meet her. If you didn't, you wouldn't have contacted her."  
I nodded. "You're right."  
"Aren't I always?"  
I laughed and shook my head. "No."  
Jon looked appalled. "Don't get an attitude with me, Ms. Kingsley."  
I smiled and Jon pulled me into his arms.  
"Will you go with me tomorrow?"  
"Anything for you."  
I just shook my head and kissed him.


	21. Conversations

"I'm meeting my mom today."  
"I know."  
"I don't know if I want to do this."  
"Look, I can tell you want to even though it doesn't seem like it right now. How about this? We go in and you talk to her but if you feel like you can't handle it during the conversation, we leave. No questions asked. We just get up, walk away and you never have to talk to her again. But I think if you don't at least go in there and at least meet her, you'll regret it."  
I took a deep breath. "Ok."  
Jon took my hand and led me into the large building. It was a construction company and according to my mom's receptionist, she was the vice president. I remembered that my mom had gone to college and had a degree but then she had me and never used it. Was this just another reason she left? She risked her love for a job? And I risked my job for love. Another similarity. I stopped walking. Jon turned back to me.  
"Are you going to be ok?"  
"You're going to be there for me?"  
"Yes. I won't leave unless you ask me to."  
I nodded and continued walking. We entered the building and asked for my mom's office. The woman at the desk told me she was on the top floor. We got on the elevator and I gripped Jon's hand hard. I felt if I let go, I was going to fall to pieces. We exited the elevator and I went to the receptionist's desk. I made an appointment with my mother and I told the receptionist I was here. She pressed a button on her phone and told my mom I was here. I heard noise on the phone and then the woman told me I could go right in. The receptionist told me what door to go into and I grabbed Jon's hand as we went to the room. I opened the door and took in my surroundings. It was a bright big room. Beautiful with a view. I looked at the desk and at it sat a woman with slick, dark brown hair. She was in a navy business suit and she was beautiful. My mom. I heard an intake of breath when I looked at her and realized that it was her.  
"Ray. Please, have a seat."  
I gripped Jon's hand and sat down in a leather chair across the desk from her.  
"Can I get you anything?"  
I shook my head.  
"Ok. And this must be your boyfriend?"  
"Yes. His name is Jon." I barely recognized my own voice.  
She nodded. "You are even prettier in person."  
"Thank you."  
She smiled. "So, what are your questions? Obviously, you have some since you called."  
"Were you planning on trying to meet me while I was down here?"  
"I thought about it but I didn't want to ruin your life anymore than I already have. I was going to wait until you were ready to see me."  
"And if I never wanted to see you?"  
"Then I would pass on never knowing you."  
"That's stupid. You would never want to know me?"  
"I figure that I lost the opportunity to know you a long time ago."  
"You told me you fell in love with another and that's the reason you left. Did you not love dad?"  
"Of course I loved your father. We met in college and fell for each other. We got married young and I got pregnant young. I loved your father but we were children and we were naive."  
"Who was the man you cheated on dad with?"  
"A guy I met at some bar. We were together for awhile but then he cheated on me. But then I met a really nice man and we got married and had a kid."  
"You never thought to come back after that guy cheated?"  
"I thought about it but I thought that I would never be accepted back into your life. The damage was already done."  
"You didn't even try to come back."  
"I know. And I regret that everyday."  
"Why didn't you love me enough to stay? You said that you loved me and yet you left me stranded with a father that barely knew I was even there. And still he was a parent than you."  
"You think I didn't love you?"  
"What was I supposed to think about my mother leaving without even as much as a goodbye."  
"Do not think for a second I didn't love you. It was never about you. Trust me, I have loved you everyday since you were born."  
"Bull. How can you just expect me to trust you?"  
She held up her finger and grabbed her purse. She dug through it for a couple of seconds before pulling out a wallet. She flipped it open and showed me the first picture in it.  
"That's me."  
"It is. That was your third birthday. I look at that picture everyday. You were never a mistake to me, Ray. My only mistake was leaving you behind."  
I wiped away my tears. Crap, I told myself not to cry. I stood. "I can't. I can't do this."  
She nodded. "I understand. Look, if there is anything you ever need. Money, medical things or just at least a little bit of a relationship. You just call."  
I nodded. "Thank you."  
She smiled. "No, thank you."  
I felt a hint of a smile play on my lips before I led Jon out of the room and out of the building.


	22. Pacts

"So how did it go?"  
April asked me as I was lacing up my boots in the locker room.  
"It was emotional to say the least."  
"Are you going to see her again?"  
"I'm not sure. Part of me wants to but another part of me feels like she just hurt me too much."  
"I know that it is going to be hard but I feel like if you don't at least attempt some form of relationship with her, knowing you, you'll regret it later on. I know what kind of heart you have, Ray. You love strong but you hate strong too. But I also know how long you've wanted to meet your mother."  
I nodded. "You're right."  
"I know I am."  
I smiled. "Maybe I should call her?"  
"That's your decision to make."  
I sighed. "I'm going to call her."  
April smiled and left the room and I called my mom.

By the time the tech crew came by to tell me my match was in a few minutes, I was crying. I was crying like I never had before. My mom and I talked things over and we were going to meet after RAW. She told me things that I always dreamed I would hear from her and it made me bawl my eyes out. I wiped my eyes and fixed my makeup before heading to the ring. I walked down the ramp and tried to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for the match. Chants from the crowd threw me off though. But they also made me smile. They were chanting Dean Ambrose. And all through my match and even after my victory, the Ambrose chants rolled on. After my match, Jon met me backstage and we filmed our scene we had practiced and it was perfection. I got dressed and called my mom. She was outside waiting for me. I took a deep breath and exited the arena.

I saw her behind the gate that closed off the street and the back of the arena. I told the guards that she was with me and they opened the gate. My mom walked in and I led her to the locker room.  
"I'm glad you called."  
"I'm glad I did to."  
"I watched your match. It was very good."  
"Oh, thank you."  
"It's funny. Natasha's favorite wrestler is you."  
"Natasha? Is that your daughter?"  
"Yes, that's my daughter."  
"You named her after my middle name?"  
"I never forgot about you, Ray."  
I smiled. "She likes wrestling?"  
"Runs in the family, I guess."  
"How old is she?"  
"She's ten."  
"Wow. Ten. That's how old I was when...well, you know."  
She nodded. "I know."  
I wiped away a couple of tears. "Oh, here." I grabbed behind me and handed her a tshirt. I grabbed a marker and signed it. "Take this to her. I know she'll like it."  
"No, Ray. I can't just..."  
"Take it."  
"Ok." She took the shirt and put it in the bag. "Thank you."  
"No problem. So, where do we go from here?"  
"Depends. Where do you want to go from here?"  
"I want a relationship with you but I'm not sure where to start. And I don't want to hurt you, mom. That's not my goal. So, if you feel that me coming back into your life is going to wreak your home life, then I'll leave you be."  
"No, I don't want that. You're my daughter and if my husband has a problem with it, he can sleep with the dog for all I care."  
"Ok. So what now? Do we just pretend that everything that has happened, hasn't?"  
"Ok, I have a crazy idea. I and my husband are having a barbecue. Why don't you stop by? Bring Jon and whoever else you want. You can meet the family and we can try to start over."  
"At your family barbecue?"  
"Neighborly barbecue. No other family members are going to be there but my immediate family."  
I thought about it. "Fine. When is it?"  
"Tomorrow."  
"I can do that."  
"Great. It's at two. I'll give you address."  
She handed me a slip of paper then stuck out her hand. Instead, I hugged her and I felt her shoulders relax and she hugged me back. She left and a weight was suddenly lifted off my shoulders.

"Wow. A barbecue."  
"Yeah, barbecue."  
"It sounds nice. Will there be beer?"  
I froze. Jon hadn't had a drink since we got together and the thought of him drinking again made my stomach roll. I knew what Jon was like when he had alcohol and the thought of him going back onto the path scared me. "Possibly."  
"You don't want me to drink, do you?"  
"Jon..."  
"No, it's understandable. You've had a lot of alcohol related stuff in your life so I understand. You know what? From this point on, I'm not going to drink."  
"Jon."  
"No, I'm serious. Ray Natasha Kingsley, I am from here on out not going to drink. I love you too much to lose you to alcohol. I am making this pact that I will not even have a sip of alcohol from this point forward."  
"And what if you do?"  
"Then you have every right to dump me."  
"Jon..."  
"I'm serious, Ray."  
"Fine, ok. From this point on."  
"Great. Who wants to celebrate? I'll open a bottle of champagne."  
I raised a brow.  
"Kidding."  
I shook my head at him and he kissed me. I was so in love with this man.


	23. Barbecue

We arrived at my mom's house and there were children running around the front yard. It was a beautiful house, way better than what I grew up in. A man came outside as we headed up the sidewalk.  
"Kids, why don't you go play in the backyard?"  
"Ok."  
The kids ran around the side of the house and the man turned to us.  
"Hello, Ray. I'm Anthony, your mom's husband."  
He stuck his hand out to me and I shook it hesitantly.  
"We are so glad you could make it. Both of you. Natasha loved your present, by the way. That was so nice of you to do that for her."  
"No problem."  
Anthony smiled. "Well, let's head back to the back. That's where everyone is."  
We followed Anthony to the backyard and it was packed. Unfamiliar faces filled the yard. They were laughing and talking and having a great time. I saw my mom talking with a woman but when she spotted me, she headed right over.  
"Ray, so glad you could make it."  
"Me too."  
"I see you've already met Anthony."  
"Yeah."  
"Well, why don't we go inside to talk? It is pretty crowded here."  
I nodded and Jon and I followed my mom into her house. It was huge and even prettier from the inside. She led us into a beautifully decorated living room and we sat down.  
"Your house is beautiful."  
"Oh, thank you. We put a lot of work into it."  
"I can see that."  
"So, I really am glad you decided to come today."  
"So am I. Look, mom, I want to get to know you. I think that if I don't at least try to mend what is broken with us, that one day I will regret it and I don't want that. I don't want to not know my mom."  
"And I'm so glad you feel that way. You don't know how many times I've wished for you to say that."  
"So, where do we start?"  
"This barbecue is our start. We are going to eat and get to know each other and by the end of it, if you still want a relationship with me, we start acting like a family again. Or friends if you prefer. I don't care what kind of relationship we have, Ray. I just want you in my life."  
"Same. Ok, barbecue it is then."  
She smiled. I heard the pitter patter of feet running into the living room. A girl who looked exactly like me ran to my mom.  
"Mommy. Daddy said he needs you."  
"Ok, I'll be there in a second."  
"Ok." She looked from my mom or I guess, her mom, and looked at me. Her hands flew over her mouth and her eyes became huge. "You're Ray and Dean."  
I smiled. "Hi, nice to meet you, Natasha." I held out my hand and she shook it. She was shaking and smiling at the same time.  
"What are you doing here?"  
I looked at my mom to see what answer I should give her daughter.  
My mom smiled and made Natasha look at her. "She's here to be at our barbecue."  
"But why? She is Ray. She could have a better barbecue."  
"Well, she wanted to come to ours."  
Natasha nodded and turned around and hugged me. "Thank you."  
"You're welcome."  
She gave me a huge smile and I realized how eerily similar we were. She hugged her mom and then ran back outside. My mom left us so she could go see what her husband wanted.  
"What are you thinking?"  
"She looked exactly like me."  
"Well, she is your half sister."  
"I know."  
"What about your mom? What do you think you are going to do about it?"  
"Just see where it goes, I guess. There's really nothing else I can do."  
"Well, I'll be right here if you need me."  
I kissed Jon and we went outside to join the rest of the party.

The barbecue was amazing. Everyone was so nice and the food was great. I got to know my mom a little more. She told me about what had been going on in her life since she left. She told me about her job and her likes and dislikes. I told her about me and we had a lot of fun. I never thought in a million years that I would be sitting across from my mother having a pleasant conversation like I did. It made me realize how much hatred I had built up towards her but now I was glad to have my mom back in my life. Jon drove us the hotel to pack up our stuff. We were not preforming at Smackdown so we got on the bus. I watched as the bus pulled out onto the highway and I watched as Florida was put in the distance.


	24. Ohio

We arrived in Ohio for RAW and Jon was getting nervous. I had noticed over time how much Jon didn't like going to his home state. Only now did I realize why.  
"Jon, it won't be that bad. And I'm going to be there for you just like you were for me."  
He smiled. "Thank you."  
He turned away from me and stared out the window. I looked over at Joe and he just shrugged. I went over to him and sat down.  
"I just want to help."  
"I know. It's just hard for him, you know?"  
"I know. I just hate to see him like this."  
"That's good that you're concerned but Jon will get through this in his own way."  
I nodded. I hoped that way didn't involve alcohol and women.

We arrived to RAW and Jon still hadn't said a word to me. I felt awful that it was hurting him this badly. I went and got ready for a promo Jon and I were doing with Colby in the ring. Our storyline was going very well and people were actually enjoying it. But I was scared about what was going to happen tonight. I didn't know what kind of man I was going to be doing this promo with tonight. I put on a happy face and walked through the curtains. I went down to the ring where Colby was standing.  
"Seth, don't be jealous. I just couldn't be with someone like you. I needed a man not a boy."  
He laughed. "Dean Ambrose is a man? Ha, I'm more of a man than Dean could ever be."  
I slapped Colby across the face and he grabbed me and pushed me. Jon's music hit and he came down to the ring. He attacked Colby and they fought. I exited the ring with Jon and the cameras filmed us kissing before we went to commercial. Jon had to leave me to go film a segment where he would be told that he would have a match with Colby later tonight.  
"Good luck."  
Jon just nodded before walking off.  
"Just give him some space. He'll be back to the same guy in no time." Colby told me as he entered backstage.  
"Thanks, Colby."  
He smiled and went to catering.

After Jon's match, Colby came and found me. He told me he saw some of his friends from high school in the crowd and he was going to hang with them tonight. I was sad that I wouldn't see Jon but I was also happy that he was finally happy. I nodded and left the arena with Joe and Colby. We went to the hotel and I turned in for the night. I texted Jon good night before falling asleep.

I didn't see Jon until we got on the bus at 7 the next morning. We had to drive a little ways to preform at Smackdown. Jon looked almost sick.  
"Are you ok?"  
"Yeah, I just didn't get in until late last night."  
"How long were you out?"  
"Six maybe?"  
"You just got in?"  
"Yeah, I had fun though, Ray."  
His sickly look, his slumped posture, his lateness, his bloodshot eyes, I took it all in. He had been drinking.  
"Well, I'm glad you had fun."  
I sat down and prepared for the ride ahead of us. I wasn't going to push it, for now. I knew it would be hard at first but I knew that he would get through this. I hoped.


	25. Alcohol

Jon and I had a tag team match and Jon had just barely recovered from the night before. It bothered me little. I didn't expect Jon to recover from alcohol in less than a week's time. It would take time. I knew Jon had the willpower to succeed and hopefully soon he wouldn't let the alcohol take him over. Jon returned to normal after his hangover and he was back to the man I loved. He apologized for the drinking but I told him to forget about it. He promised to do better and I forgave him. When we got on the bus, I saw a girl fan give Jon a slip of paper. I ignored it. Fans were always doing things like this. And who could blame them, my boys were good looking. Jon thanked her and she hugged him. She walked off with her friend and Jon got on the bus.  
"A fan?"  
"Yeah."  
"She give you her number?"  
"Don't be jealous, Ray."  
"I'm not jealous."  
"Why not? She was pretty."  
"Mr. Good, would you want me to get jealous?"  
"I mean it would be pretty hot but, you know..." he laughed.  
"You are so weird."  
"I know. It's what you like about me."  
"Oh, really? It wasn't the fact that you were all over me?"  
"No, you liked me for my weirdness."  
"And what did you like about me?"  
"Everything."  
I smiled and we got on the bus.

When we got to the hotel, Jon went to his room with Colby. I kissed him good night and left with April. I texted Jon for the longest time before I my eyes finally drifted close and I fell asleep.

I got up early the next morning for a signing I had. I didn't stop by Jon's room because I wanted him to get his sleep. I went to the signing and a lot of fans asked where Jon was. I just told them the truth. That he was asleep and they laughed. It was probably one of the funnest signings I had done in a long time. The fans were really nice and they were so entertained by the storyline. I left the signing happy and went to the hotel. I saw Colby walking through the hotel lobby and when he saw me, he ran the other way.  
"Colby?"  
He stopped and turned towards me. "Hey, Ray. Don't you look pretty this morning?"  
"What's going on?"  
"Nothing."  
"Colby, you were always a bad liar. What's up?"  
I finally looked at Colby's appearance. He was covered in vomit and he looked tired.  
"Where is Jon?"  
He looked down at the ground. I left Colby standing there and went straight to their room. The door was wide open and I went inside. The whole room smelled of alcohol and puke. Jon was lying on a bed, holding his stomach. I had seen my dad go through this a thousand times.  
Jon looked up at me. "Ray, don't come in here."  
I just sat down next to him and pushed his hair back from his face. He kept mumbling apologies as he writhed in pain. It took everything in me not cry at the sight of him. Memories of my father being in this bad of shape came to the fore front of my mind. And only then did I start to cry.


	26. Elimination Chamber

Author's Note: Sorry that this doesn't go in order of this year's PPV lineup. I wrote this last year and that is when Elimination Chamber was before Wrestlemania.

The company decided it was best to keep Jon out of RAW and Smackdown. Lots of people at the hotel found out about Jon and WWE tried to play it off as Jon getting the flu or something. Elimination Chamber was this Sunday and I had to promo on Jon's behalf. Colby was in the ring talking about how Jon wasn't really sick, he was just scared of fighting in the Elimination Chamber for Colby's title. I had to go out and tell Colby off and then both of us were put in matches. I won my match against Brie Bella and Colby lost his match against the Big Show. I called Jon as soon as RAW ended. He watched the match from the hotel and said he enjoyed it. I would meet up with Jon when we got to the Elimination Chamber pay per view. Part of me was happy to see him but the other part of me was scared to see what type of Jon I would be seeing Sunday.

When we arrived Sunday at the Elimination Chamber, Jon was waiting for me with a dozen roses. I smiled and kissed him as soon as I got off the bus. He said he had missed me and I felt a weight lift off my chest that the Jon standing before me was the same guy I was hoping to see. Jon went to get ready for his match and I went to get ready to walk out with him. I saw Ashley walk in with a smirk on her face.  
"What are you smiling about?"  
"Oh nothing. Just your boyfriend called me last night, completely wasted. I thought you had a leash on that dog of yours."  
"First of all, I trust Jon so I don't need a 'leash'. And second of all, why would he call you?"  
"Well, you know how Jon likes his women. He just can't control himself."  
"Whatever, Ashley."  
"If you don't believe me, ask your boyfriend. He would never lie to you, would he?" She walked off and I tried to shake it off. But I just couldn't. I stormed out of the locker room and went to the guy's locker room. I knocked on the door and Cena answered.  
"Ray?"  
"Where's Jon?"  
"He just left for the match. Are you ready to walk him out? That's in a couple of minutes."  
"So he is at the curtains?"  
"Yeah."  
I walked off and went to the entrance to the curtains. Jon was hopping from foot to foot, listening to music. He saw me and he took out his earphones.  
"Hey..."  
"Did you call Ashley last night?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Did you call her wasted and wanting to sleep with her?"  
"Ray..."  
"No. Just tell me the truth."  
"I did."  
"Ok. Just...please. Try not to let it happen again." I tried to brush it off. This was probably not the place or the time to have this conversation.  
"Ray..."  
"Not now. You have a match."  
We both waited in silence until Jon's music hit. We both put on smiles as we walked out to the ring.

Jon won the championship. I celebrated with him as much as I could but as soon as we got backstage, we went our separate ways. He came and found me later on and he apologized. I caved in because I didn't want to lose him. I told Jon I forgave him and I told him I was happy he won the title. I went back to the hotel with Jon and I slept off everything from that night.

I got a call early in the morning from Colby to meet him downstairs. I went down and saw Colby looking distraught. I knew it had to be Jon.  
"I wanted you to hear it from someone who cares about you first before some stranger told you."  
"What?"  
"Jon went out to celebrate his championship victory. He went to a bar. He called me to come pick him up at some motel."  
"Colby, no. I don't want to hear it."  
"You're going to hear it either way. He was with a woman. I'm so sorry, Ray."  
"It's fine, Colby."  
"Ray..."  
"No, it's fine. He didn't mean too."  
"Ray..."  
"It'll just take some time, you know? These things happen and he'll get over it." Tears started to well in my eyes.  
"Ray..."  
"I trusted him."  
Colby hugged me tight and I cried into his shoulder. There have been only four people in my life that I have fully trusted. My mom, my dad, Jon and myself. Looks like only one of those people hasn't betrayed me.


	27. To Break Up or To Not Break Up

Jon found out that I knew and he tried to talk but I just refused to even acknowledge him. I didn't want to talk to him about it. About any of it. I know we had only been dating three months but in those three months, I had become a better person because of him. I started trusting people, I reconnected with my mom, I loved someone. But after this, I wasn't sure. I trusted someone again and he abused it. We rode on the bus to RAW and the whole bus was silence. Jon watched my every move and I just tried so hard to ignore his presence. Everyone ran out of the bus as soon as they could when we got to the arena. I got off but Jon caught me as soon as I stepped onto the pavement.  
"We need to talk."  
"We have a show to do. Later, we'll talk."  
"Ray..."  
"We have a show to prepare for."  
I walked off and went to get ready for my match.

My match was not up to par with most of my other matches. Jon threw me off and I couldn't focus. I just couldn't decide what to do. I didn't want to lose Jon but also didn't want to be in a relationship where I was not respected enough to not be cheated on. I saw Ashley walking down the hall, she looked over at me and smirked.  
"Heard about you and Jon. So sad. Guess he'll have to find a new skank to sleep with."  
With everything that went wrong about my day, she had to push me over the edge. I wasn't going to take her crap anymore. I stood up and calmly went over to her.  
"Say that again, Ashley. I dare you."  
She scoffed. "What are you going to do about it? You couldn't even keep your man in line. You're nothing and Jon saw that."  
And then I punched her straight in the face. She went down and I climbed on top of her and beat her face in. I just kept hitting her. Tears fell from my eyes. Blood poured out of her nose and mouth. Someone pulled me away and I was put into the trainer's room. I looked up and saw Joe. He didn't say a word as he cleaned off my hands and face. After he was finished, he sat down next to me and we sat in silence.  
"I'm in trouble, aren't I?"  
"Yeah, most likely."  
"She just made me so angry."  
"I know. She had it coming."  
"That doesn't help."  
"Again, I know. But you aren't mad at her, Ray. You're mad at Jon. And it's understandable why. He hurt you."  
"What should I do? Should I end things?"  
"That's your decision, Ray. I can't make that for you."  
"I know, but can you?"  
He gave an exasperated laugh. "No, I can't. You got to decide if you think staying with him is the best option. If he hurt you too bad to move on from this, then end it. But if you think that you can move past this, I would give him another chance."  
I thought about Joe's words. I sighed and went to see Jon. He was sitting in the locker room watching RAW.  
"Hey."  
He looked up at me and he looked concerned. "Is that blood?"  
"Not mine. The other girl's."  
"Ok? Who did you hit and why did you hit them?"  
"It doesn't matter. What matters is that we need to talk."  
"Yeah, we do."  
"Jon, I don't know how to say this."  
"Then don't. Give me another chance, Ray. Let me make this right."  
"I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can trust you again, Jon. I trusted you with everything. I told you things I've never told anyone. And you abused my trust. I don't know how I'm going to get over it."  
"Ray, please..." I didn't even recognize his voice.  
"Jon..."  
"Please, Ray. Don't do this."  
"Goodbye, Jon."  
And that is the first time I ever saw Jonathan Good cry. Part of me wanted to run back but the other part knew what I had to do. I walked away.


	28. Road to Wrestlemania

~3 weeks later~

After the breakup, I took some time off. I just couldn't deal with having to see him everyday after that, let alone do a storyline with him. Joe and Colby called a couple of times to check on me but I talked to them very little. April stopped by when WWE was passing through Pennsylvania. I talked to her and cried for an hour. She tried to keep me updated as much as she could since I hadn't even turned on a tv since I went on break. WWE told the Universe that we broke up because I couldn't handle the pressure of two guys fighting over me. Sheesh. Who came up with that idea? One day, a couple of days away from Wrestlemania, I got a knock at the door. I stood up and saw Stephanie McMahon at my door. I let her in and she sat down on my couch.  
"What do you want, Stephanie?"  
"It's time for you to come back to work, Ray. It's been three weeks. And I've been lenient because I can't imagine what it would be like to work with your ex but I've almost been too nice. You show up to Wrestlemania or don't come back."  
"Fine. What would I be doing?"  
"Mark and Jane have a storyline for you when you show up."  
"What is it going to be?"  
"They'll give you the details Sunday. Just be there."  
"Ok. I will."  
Stephanie smiled and stood. "Great. See you there."  
She left after that. I fell into my couch and sighed. What had I got myself into? 

I arrived at the arena on Sunday. The fans were so happy to see me. I went in and found Joe, Colby and April backstage. They hugged me and told me how excited they were that I was here. All three of them had matches, including Colby's match with Jon being the main event. I froze. I didn't know I was going to do or say if I saw him. But I didn't have time to think about it before I had to go to Mark's office. I went in and sat down and they both looked nervous.  
"So, what's the storyline?"  
"Well, we know that you and Jon aren't on the best of terms."  
"Not really."  
Jane stepped in. "But we would like you to be the main focal point of a story we are doing with Jon."  
"No romance."  
"No, not a romantic storyline. We want you to be a manager."  
"A manager? For Jon?"  
"And Colby. And Joe."  
Was she saying what I think she was saying?  
"Jon is going to go crazy tonight. He is going to hit Colby with chairs and send him through tables. It is going to be brutal. We want you to come out and stop him from hurting Colby anymore. Colby is going to stand and you will help him to the back. That's when the pay per view will end. Tomorrow, we want you to be in the line of danger. And The Shield will save you."  
"You're putting The Shield back together?"  
"No, you are."  
"And you want me to be their manager?"  
"Yeah, if you're up for it."  
I thought about it. "Yeah, let's do this."

I was at the curtain getting ready as the match before Colby and Jon's was ending. I was sitting down and saw Jon walking towards the entrance. He saw me and he froze. I looked down at my hands and tried to ignore his presence. But he didn't ignore mine. He walked to the curtain and looked over at me.  
"So, it's true then? People were saying you were back."  
"Yeah, I'm back."  
"You're going to bring The Shield back together then?"  
"Yeah, that's right. But I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for Colby and Joe."  
He nodded. "You look nice."  
I looked down at my outfit. "Thanks."  
"Yep."  
He turned back to the curtain and I heard his music hit. "Well, see you out there." He went through the curtain and I watched the screen as he went down the ramp. He acted like nothing had happened. I suspected that would be the case. Jon didn't like to show his emotions. But sometimes, I wish he did. The match started and I waited until my moment to go to the ring. A tech guy came by about twenty minutes in and told me I had five minutes before I would have to go out. I watched Jon hit Colby with a chair and the ref rang the bell. I waited. Jon hit Colby some more until Colby couldn't move. He put Colby onto a table and sent him through. He handcuffed Colby to the side of the ring and hit him some more. He took the steel steps off and threw it to the ground. He looked back and forth between Colby and the steps. He smiled and picked the steps off the ground. And that's when my music hit. I ran out to Jon as he was lifting the steps over his head. The crowd roared and I put myself between Colby and the steps. Jon dropped them and left. I took the handcuffs off and helped Colby back to the back. The pay per view ended and I looked for Jon but he had already left. I got my stuff and got on the bus and I fell asleep on the way to RAW.


	29. The Shield

I was waiting backstage as the match before my segment was ending. Joe, Colby and Jon had already left to enter in the entrance to the crowd. I was nervous. What if the crowd didn't want The Shield to come back? What if they got angry that I brought them back together? The wrestlers from the match came backstage and I heard my music hit. I stood and went to the ring.  
"I'm back."  
The crowd cheered.  
"And I got a call from Stephanie saying that I was going to get fired if I didn't come back. I'm sorry, Steph. I didn't realize that I couldn't take a break. The Authority...ugh, I hate them. They think they can control everyone. I can't take a little vacation but let's say if Triple H was to leave for a while, there would be no problem. The Authority doesn't need to control the WWE. They don't know how to run this business. What's 'Best for Business' is not having you around."  
The fans started the yes chants and Randy Orton's music hit. Randy, Kane and Triple H walked out and got in the ring. They all smirked and I fake cowered in fear.  
Randy grabbed a mic. "What? You have nothing to say now?"  
"Only that you have no talent and that the only reason you're still here is because The Authority needs a fall guy."  
"Are you trying to get an RKO?"  
"You wouldn't touch me. See, I have some guys that are willing to let's say, protect me. If you lay and hand on me, I'll make sure that they destroy you."  
Randy laughed and grabbed me by the hair. And that's when I heard the familiar song. People erupted as The Shield walked down through the crowd. They got into the ring and beat up Orton, Kane and Triple. They put their fists together and the crowd cheered. Joe lifted me up on his shoulders and the crowd erupted in Shield chants. I looked around me and I saw Jon smiling at me. As soon as I saw him, he looked away and pretended like it didn't happen. I looked around at the crowd and RAW ended. Joe put me down and we exited to backstage. Jon left us as soon as we got through the curtain. Colby and Joe stayed behind with me for a while. We went and got our stuff and we got on the bus. I saw Jon talking to Ashley outside before Ashley kissed him. I pretended to not notice but I got caught when Jon spotted me staring. He waved and smirked before getting on the bus with Ashley. I heard Colby yell for me and I boarded the bus. Everyone was conversing about RAW but I stayed quiet. All I could focus on was Jon.

Everyone went to sleep later but I just couldn't close my eyes. I sat in the dark but around two I saw the light come on and Joe sat down beside me.  
"What's going on? Have you been to sleep yet?"  
I shook my head.  
Joe put his arm around me. I lay my head on his chest.  
"What are you thinking about?"  
"Is Jon dating Ashley?"  
"What? Of course not."  
I looked up at him. "Tell me the truth, Joe."  
He sighed. "You know how Jon is. He moves from girl to girl."  
"Oh, thanks."  
"Not you. You were different, Ray."  
"Yet he still cheated on me. So apparently I wasn't that different."  
"Ray, I've known Jon for a very long time and trust me when I say this, you were different."  
I nodded. "Ok. Whatever."  
"Now, Ray, please. Get some sleep."  
"I will, I will."  
Joe hugged me before standing up. He told me goodnight before he went back to bed. I stayed up for a few more minutes before closing my eyes. Was Joe right? Was I any different?


	30. Realizations

I got to the arena earlier than usual and Jon was already there. He was running the ropes when I got there.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Getting ready for Smackdown. Something you wouldn't understand."  
"Excuse me?"  
"I've been here for three weeks even after you broke up with me. I didn't take a little vacation like you did. Maybe that's why I'm getting main events and you're just the cheerleader."  
"I'm sorry. And what right do you have to be a jerk to me?"  
"You broke up with me."  
"Because you cheated."  
"Yes, I did. But you broke up with me, Ray. And now you're getting involved in my career. This grudge that you most likely hold against me could cost me everything. You don't get to do this to me."  
"You think I came back to ruin you? That's crazy."  
"No, it's not."  
"No, you're right. It's not. What's crazy is that I could ever love a man as self absorbed as you."  
"Well, that was your mistake, wasn't it?"  
"I hate you, Jonathan Good."  
"Feeling's mutual, sweetheart."  
I walked away from him and went outside. Tears fell down my cheeks and I cried. I cried until I thought I could cry no more. I don't know why I did but for some reason, I just stood there and bawled my eyes out.  
"Ray?"  
I looked and saw April. She came over and hugged me and led me inside. I cried on her shoulder. She kept saying sorry. I don't know why but she did and I just kept crying. Joe and Colby arrived later and calmed me down. We got ready for Smackdown and I met the boys at the entrance to the crowd. We walked down the stairs and I stood as far away from Jon as possible. The Shield won their match and I celebrated in the ring with them. Backstage after the match, Jon kissed Ashley right in front of me. He looked straight into my eyes afterwards and smirked. Ashley smirked too and they walked off together. I felt tears rush to my eyes but then I finally realized why I was crying. It wasn't over Jon. It was over me. I was crying for myself. I hated myself for ever falling in love and trusting someone like Jonathan Good. Joe and Colby tried to comfort me as we got on the bus but I ignored them and stared out the window. We stopped on our way to the next town and I tried to ignore Jon and Ashley as much as I could. They kept parading themselves around me and I saw Colby once try to stop Jon from doing what he was but he completely ignored him and kissed Ashley. I went back to the bus until we were done at this stupid gas station. The bus driver got off the bus and went outside. Jon got on and sat down beside me.  
"What?"  
"I'm sorry."  
"For?"  
"Ashley. She thought it would be fun to do that to you. I was angry at you and I went along with it. I thought I should apologize. So, I'm sorry."  
I looked at him. "Are you kidding me? Really? You think you can pull all that crap and a 'sorry' is going to suffice?"  
"Maybe? Colby wanted me to come apologize and at first, I didn't want to but then I realized he was right and I should say sorry. I don't want you to be mad at me, Ray. I am truly sorry for what Ashley and I pulled."  
"You think I'm mad about you and Ashley?"  
"Aren't you?"  
"No. I'm mad at myself."  
"Why?"  
"Jon, I hate myself. I hate myself for ever trusting you. For ever thinking you could change. But you can't, Jon. My dad couldn't change for me so why did I think you could be any different? I risked everything to be with you and look where it got me? I shouldn't have fallen for you, Jon. It would have made everything so much easier."  
"Ray..."  
"Thanks for the apology but you can leave now. I'll make sure Colby doesn't get involved any more."  
I looked back out the window. Jon stood and walked off the bus. Everyone else got back on and we rolled away from the gas station. I fell asleep and for once since the breakup, it was a peaceful sleep.


	31. Leaving

Colby woke me up in the morning and I got dressed and followed our group sleepily into our hotel. I put my stuff down on the bed and fell asleep for a few hours. When I woke up, April was asleep and the clock read 11:00. I stood up and put on shoes before going outside. It was pitch black outside and I decided to get some fresh air.  
"It's late."  
I jumped and looked over at Jon. He was drinking a beer and leaning against the wall.  
"Give me."  
He looked at me and then at the bottle. "You don't drink."  
"Well, I want a sip. Let's see how powerful this stuff really is."  
He handed me the beer. I sipped the liquid and it was warm as it slid down my throat. But it was disgusting. I choked and then handed the bottle back to Jon. He laughed and took a sip from the bottle.  
"I don't see how you can drink that."  
He laughed.  
"No, seriously. It's a talent."  
He just shook his head. "What are you doing up?"  
"I took a nap when I got here. Why are you up?"  
"Couldn't sleep."  
"You want to talk about it?"  
"Aren't you mad at me?"  
I was. But for some reason I still wanted him to talk to me and be near him. I was so angry but at the same time I still wanted to be close to him. "Just tell me about it."  
"I made a mistake."  
"Yeah? And what's that?"  
"Leading Ashley on. She keeps calling me. I should have never agreed to go out with her in the first place."  
"If you didn't want to date her, why did you agree to go out?"  
"Why do you think?"  
"I don't know."  
"Then forget it."  
"Jon, just tell me."  
He sighed. "It was to make you jealous."  
"Jealous? Why would you care to make me jealous?"  
"Isn't it obvious?"  
"No, it's really not."  
He looked over at me. "Because I'm still in love with you, Ray."  
"Then why did you say those things to me?"  
"Because if you hated me it would be easier. It would make it easier to move on from you."  
Hate. Hate and drinking. This was Jon's solution to everything.  
"And have you? Have you moved on?"  
"No. And I don't think I ever will."  
"Jon..."  
"Can you just leave? Please. I don't want to talk about this."  
"Ok."  
I went back inside. Déjà vu struck me. I remember having a similar conversation with Jon. It seemed like we had that talk a long time ago. And these two conversations were exactly the same. Jon told me he loved me and it left me even more confused about my feelings for Jon. I wanted so badly to hate him but part of me just couldn't. He hurt me and I wanted to just tell myself that I didn't care but the truth was I cared about Jon now more than ever. He was going down a deep hole that I knew he would never save himself from. And that scared me. It scared me even more that I couldn't shake the feeling that I was responsible and I was the only one that could help him.

I went back to sleep after my talk with Jon. April woke me up to go to a signing. I got dressed and went to the building where the signing was being held. There was only one other person who was doing the signing with me. I wasn't sure who that would be yet but when I got in the building, I froze. Jon sat in a chair behind a table full of markers and merch. He looked up and saw me walking towards him.  
"Good morning, Ray. You look pretty."  
"Are you trying to mess with me? First you say you say all those things to me, then you say you love me and now you are here. What are you trying to do?"  
He look offended. "I'm here to sign some autographs. I don't know why you think everything is revolved around you."  
"I don't. There you go again. Insulting me. Messing with my head."  
"Messing with your head? Why are you so paranoid? My life doesn't revolve around you, sweetheart."  
Now I was offended. "I know that. It's just...these past couple of days have been agonizing. One minute, you say you hate me. The next, we're outside drinking a beer and you tell me you're in love me. How do you think that affects me, Jon? Or do you even care? Do you think I want to hear those things? I can't handle your feelings and work with you at the same time. It's too much."  
"You're the one who came outside last night. You're the one who was prying into my life. I didn't need you to talk to me about anything."  
"I was just concerned about you. I wanted to make sure you were ok. I know how you can get when you're drinking."  
He stood and raised his voice a bit. "Well, I don't need you to be concerned. I'm fine on my own. Were you concerned when you 'fell in love with me'? Was I your little charity project, Ray? Did you think I needed help? Because you know how I get when I 'drink'?"  
I raised my voice too. "No, it was never like that. You're twisting my words. You never listened to me. You always had to hear what you wanted to hear."  
"I'm not twisting anything. I know what you are saying. You were concerned about me. About how my drinking affects me. Or more importantly, how it affects you. Because if I drink, you can't help me. You should have learned a long time ago that I was a lost cause."  
"You weren't a lost cause to me. I loved you. I still do."  
I could see that hit a nerve. "No, Ray. You can't say that. It's a lie. I was your drunken womanizer who needed saving. You saw me as a little side project. A man in need of fixing. You saw my flaws and you wanted to fix them."  
"It was never like that, Jon."  
"But then I betrayed you, right? You trusted me and I betrayed you. Yet you keep coming back. Because you think there is hope for me. I'm not your dad, Ray. Stop using me to make yourself feel better. I'm not your charity case."  
My heart fell into my stomach. How could he say those things to me? "You're right, Jon. You aren't my dad. But you also aren't the man I thought you were. I saw something in you. Something good. But you've made it clear that the man I saw something in is long dead. I'm so sorry that I wasted both of our time. I'll leave before I waste any more of it."  
So, I walked. I walked right out of that building and left.


	32. My New Life

~Four Months Later~

Ever since leaving the WWE, I've actually had a better life. No getting on and off buses. No more drama. Just living. After I went and quit my job, I came home to Pennsylvania and tried to find a job. But after weeks of searching, my mother calls and says that she heard the news about my future with the WWE. So, I'm twenty six and living at my mom's house. Yeah, that's fantastic. And I can honestly say that it is. My mom and I have become closer, her husband is really nice and I've even become best friends with my new sister. I got a job working as a fitness trainer down in Florida and life honestly couldn't be better. My birthday is coming up in a week and I am actually getting a party. I haven't had a birthday party since I was nine. My mom is trying to surprise me but she isn't a good liar. She tried so hard to keep it under wraps but she just isn't any good at keeping a secret.  
"So, there is a day coming up."  
"I know, my birthday."  
"Oh, really? I didn't know."  
"Mom, Natasha already told me everything."  
"Oh, no. You're kidding. It was supposed to be a surprise."  
I laugh and she laughs too. For once, I'm happy. I don't have a care in the world and that's a feeling I never thought I could have. My mom drops me off at work. I don't have a car yet. I never really needed one until now. I think that is what they are getting me for my birthday, though I am not going to push it. I get out and walk into the gym. My co workers greet me and I set my stuff down in the locker room.  
"Hey, Ray."  
I turn and see Nathan. He is one of the guys that works with me. I really like him. He is a son of one of my mom's friends and we met when I moved to Florida. He flirts with me all the time and I want him to ask me out already.  
"Hey, Nathan."  
"So, you're birthday is coming up. Let me take you out."  
Finally. "Like on a date?"  
"It doesn't have to be a date. I mean, it can be, but only if you want it to be."  
"I would love too."  
"Great. I'll pick you up Friday. Around seven."  
I nodded. He smiled and left the locker room. I went and got dressed before going to my first appointment of the day.

I only had a couple of appointments for the day but I stuck around after I got finished. I lifted some weights which I hadn't done in I don't know when. I started to lift but I struggled with it. I started to fall under the pressure. Oh, no.  
"Somebody, help!"  
I felt someone come from behind me and put the bar back up. I started to feel a lump in my throat and I wanted so badly to turn around and see Jon with that stupid, annoying smirk. But when I turned, I saw Nathan.  
"Thanks, Nathan."  
"No problem. You know, Ray, you shouldn't try to lift more than you know you can lift."  
"Thanks for the advice."  
He nodded and went back into the lobby. I sat down on the ground. Why did I think of Jon? Everything from four months ago came flooding back in and I felt like crying. I took a sip of water and went to go get changed. I wasn't going to cry over Jon. Not ever again. I left the gym and got in a taxi cab. I told the driver where to go and I paid the fair. He drove for about an hour before I arrived at a house I never thought I would step foot in again.  
"Ray!"  
A familiar little girl ran outside and hugged me.  
"Joelle. Wow, you've gotten so big."  
She smiled. Galina walked out onto the porch and I went towards her. I gave her a hug before going inside. Galina sat down with me at the table.  
"Sorry for not calling first."  
"No, it's fine. I haven't seen you since you came with Joe that one time. How have you been?"  
"Bad. Some good. But mostly bad."  
"I heard. I'm so sorry about you and Jon."  
"It's fine. I actually wanted to talk to you about that."  
"Ok."  
"It's been four months since we ended things. And I thought I had moved on but today something triggered in me and everything came rushing back. How do I get rid of it?"  
She smiled. "Ray, I'm so sorry."  
"I don't want to think about him, Galina. What should I do?"  
"I don't know.You have to make a decision. Some part of you thought about Jon today because you haven't let him go even though you say you have. You have to sit down and think. You either need to let him go and move on or you are never going to find relief."  
"That's my only two options?"  
She laughed. "I can tell you still care about him. But you need to decide if you just care about him or if you still love him."  
"Thank you."  
She nodded. We talked some more before I headed out with more questions than answers.


	33. Letting Go?

I thought about what Galina said. It was my birthday and I was thinking about Jonathan Good. I went out with Nathan and that didn't not go well at all. Maybe it was because my mind was on someone else.  
"You're missing the party."  
My mom sat down next to me on my bed. I lay down and she lays down next to me.  
"I'm sorry. I've just got a lot on my mind." I said as I looked up at my ceiling.  
"You want to talk about it?"  
I shook my head.  
"Ok, we'll talk about something else."  
"Good."  
She didn't speak for a moment. "You've got an interesting ceiling."  
"What?"  
"I'm just saying. It's a pretty color."  
"Mom." I groaned.  
"What?"  
"I know what you are trying to do. You're trying to talk about a boring topic until I finally tell you about what is actually going on."  
"Ah, you got me. What's going on, Ray?"  
"Jon."  
"What about him?"  
"I can't get over him."  
"And that's a bad thing?"  
"Yes. He hurt me, mom. He cheated."  
"He did. But so did I. And so did your father. We all cheated in one way or another. I cheated you out of having a mother by sleeping with another man. Your father cheated you out of having a dad by drinking alcohol."  
"It's not the same thing."  
"It is though. Jon cheated you out of having a good relationship by being with another. But the fact is, Ray, you forgave me and you never gave up on your father."  
"So?"  
"So why are you not forgiving and giving up on Jon? You try and act like you want Nathan. But you don't look at him the same way you looked at Jon. You were happy with him."  
"Was. Before he cheated."  
"You're right."  
"He's never going to change, mom."  
"And how do you know? You changed. I changed. Why can't he?"  
"Because he is addicted. Just like dad."  
"Ray, you can't do this. Stop comparing Jon to your father. Jon is not him. If he was, Jon would have given up a long time ago. I wasn't there when you're dad started drinking. But I know what he was like before. Your father always had a drinking problem. You just didn't see the worst of it until later on. Your father loved alcohol more than anything. He loved alcohol more than me. He loved it more than you. Alcohol was his life that always had a hold on him that no one could ever seem to break. But I don't see that in Jon. I can tell that he loves you more. So, you can let him go if you think that is best but I know that you two love each other and I think that if you let him go, it's a waste."  
"So, this is what motherly advice is like?"  
"So I've heard."  
I laughed. My mom sat up and so did I.  
"Now, will you came back to the party?"  
"Let me make a call first."  
She smiled. "Ok. I'm going to hold you to that."  
I smiled back and my mom left the room. I picked up my phone and started to dial in Jon's number when my phone rang. Colby's caller i.d popped up and I answered.  
"Hello?"  
"Ray?"   
"Colby? What's up?"  
"It's Jon." I heard sniffles as he talked, like he had been crying.  
Something didn't feel right. Somewhere in my gut I knew something was wrong and I was scared to find out what that might be. "Ironic. I was just about to call him. What's the matter?"  
"Jon...Jon has been shot."  
And then I felt a piece of my heart burst.


	34. Hospital

"Wha-what? Colby? What are you talking about?"  
I heard Colby crying as he spoke. "We're in London and April found some necklace of yours in her suitcase. She came to us with it and asked us if we know where you live now. She didn't realize Jon was in the room and he took the necklace from her. We didn't see him for the rest of the night. Until we get a call at three a.m saying that a man that looked like Jon was drunk and got into a fight with some guy trying to take something from him. And then the man shot him. The necklace wasn't on Jon. The police think that Jon was getting robbed of the necklace and then got shot trying to protect it. The doctors don't know if he is going to make it."  
Tears rushed down my face. "What? No. Please. That stupid idiot. He's so stupid! Where is he?"  
"We're at the hospital. He's in surgery. He wants to see you."  
"I'll be there. First flight out."  
"Ok. Hurry."  
I hung up the phone and threw things into a suitcase. I called the airport. My flight leaves in thirty minutes. I hear my door open and my mom walks in.  
"Ray?"  
"I don't have time to explain. I have to see Jon. I'm getting on a plane to London right now."  
"Ray..."  
"Mom, don't stop me. I have to go."  
"I wasn't going to. I was going to offer you a ride."  
I nodded and we leave. I tell my mom that Jon has been shot and I have to be in London. We arrive at the airport, five minutes before my plane leaves. I grab my ticket and board the plane and we take off.

I tried to sleep on the plane but it was no use. I go straight from the airport to the hospital, still in my clothes from the party. I'm freezing but don't care as I get into a cab. I tell the cab driver where to go and he drives straight there. I pay my fare and exit the car. When I arrive at the hospital, I ask where Jon is then they have to verify that I'm not some lunatic fan trying to sneak my way into Jon's room. After getting verified, I go and find Colby. Joe and Colby are sitting in the waiting room. They look up when I enter and look at me from head to toe. I probably look awful. They just shake their heads at me and hug me tight.  
"We're so glad you made it." Colby tells me as he hugs me.  
"Where is he?"  
"Still in surgery. It's bad, Ray."  
I start to cry but Joe wipes away my tears. "No crying. You know Jon wouldn't want that."  
I try but the tears keep falling. The boys tell me to sit and I do.  
Colby looks over at me. "What's with the outfit?"  
"It was my birthday. I had a party."  
"Well, you look nice."  
"Liar. I probably look awful."  
Colby smiles a weak smile. "Jon will still think you look beautiful."  
I start to cry again and Joe and Colby hold me tight. They tell me how Jon has been these last few months and I tell them about me. April showed up and we talked for awhile. That is, until the doctor came in. He said Jon made it through surgery. He is sleeping it off but the doctor wants to keep a close eye. He still isn't sure what might happen. More questions than answers. The police come by later. They found the necklace on the guy that robbed Jon. They gave it back to me and I look at it. It's a necklace I've had for years but it doesn't really hold any sentimental value.  
"That idiot."  
"Ray..." Joe says cautiously.  
I raise my voice. "That idiot. He risks his life for this stupid piece of junk!" I throw the necklace across the room.  
"Ray, calm down."  
I hear a nurse come into the waiting room. "What's going on?"  
"Nothing, my friend has just had a rough night."  
The nurse nodded and walked out. Colby helps calm me down. I sit down and cry. The doctor comes in and tells us Jon is awake. We head to his room. Colby, Joe and April go in.  
"Hey, guys." His voice eats away at my soul.  
"Hey, man. You look good."  
"Liar."  
"So, we got a little surprise for you."  
"A surprise? And what would that be?"  
They all three look at me and I start to walk in but stop and run back out of the room.  
"Well, hold on. The surprise will be here in just a minute."  
"Ok?"  
Joe walks out and closes the door. "You ok?"  
"I can't do it. I thought I could but I can't."  
"Ray, please. He wants to see you."  
"I'm going to cry when I see him."  
"And that's ok."  
I took a deep breath. "Ok."  
I start to enter but in runs Ashley and she enters the room.  
"What is Ashley doing here?"  
"Well..."  
"Well what?"  
"Ashley and Jon have been dating since you left."  
"What?"  
"Yeah. But I know he would want to see you."  
"You mean he never asked for me?"  
"No. We all just assumed that if he protected a necklace of yours, that he wants to see you."  
I thought about it. "Tell Jon I said to get better soon.  
I start to walk off but Joe grabs my arm. "Ray..."  
I sigh. "Fine."  
I fix my hair and walk in. My eyes go to the bed. Jon lays there, looking tired and shocked.  
"Hey, Jon. You miss me?"


	35. The Kidnapping Was Implied

"R-Ray?"  
"So, heard you got shot? That sucks. Get better soon."  
I started to leave but then heard Jon's voice. "That's it? Four months of not seeing you and you just say 'get better soon'?"  
Joe spoke up. "Let's let them have some privacy."  
Everyone nodded except Ashley.  
"Um, no." She said.  
Jon spoke up. "Ash, please."  
"Fine." She kisses him and leaves with everyone else. I turn back to Jon and he looks entranced.  
I looked at him. "What?"  
"I still can't believe you're here."  
"Well, I am. So, there. Is that it?"  
"Why are you getting defensive?"  
"Defensive? No, I'm not defensive."  
"Then why are you so angry?"  
"Because...I just am."  
"Why?"  
"...Ashley? You're dating Ashley?"  
"That's what this is about? Me dating Ashley? I thought four months would have matured you but I see you are still the same petty high school child who likes to create drama."  
"Wow and to think I hopped on a plane as soon as I heard you were shot. To think I cared that you might die. I see four months hasn't changed you either. You're still the same cold hearted man I left four months ago."  
"You cared that I might die?"  
"Of course I did. Why do you think I'm here? I was so scared that I might lose you."  
"Really?"  
"Yes. Really."  
"Wow. I didn't even think that you still gave a crap."  
"Well, I do."  
"So, you hopped on a plane?"  
"As soon as Colby called."  
"Is that why you are in a dress and heels?"  
"I was at party."  
"A party? I can't imagine you at a party."  
"It was a birthday party. And in case you're wondering, it was mine."  
"I know."  
"You know? I highly doubt that."  
"No, really. I did know. I got your necklace and went drinking. That's when I thought of this ridiculous plan. I knew it was your birthday and I thought that I could surprise you. I could give you the necklace back in person on your birthday. So, I left the bar and was heading to get a cab to go to the airport when this guy stops me. He tells me that he wants anything of value. I hand him some cash and tell him that it's all I have. But with me being completely wasted, I dropped the necklace. The guy sees it and he tried to take it but I told him I needed it. I fought him and he shoots me. I fall, he shoots me again and then takes the necklace, leaving me to die."  
I shook my head. "You idiot."  
"I know."  
"You could have died. Over a necklace because you were drunk."  
"I know. I'm sorry, Ray."  
"It's not my problem anymore. You can keep drinking all you want. I'm not going to feel sorry for you any more, Jon."  
"I know. I just don't want you to be disappointed in me."  
"I'm not. I just hope that the next time we see each other, you won't be in grave."  
"I'm sorry, Ray."  
I nodded. "Take care of yourself, Jon. If not for yourself, then for the people that love you."  
I walked out and left the hospital.

The next flight wasn't until tomorrow so I had to get a hotel room. Colby tried to get me to come back to the hospital but I just couldn't bring myself to go. I left London the next day and went home. I told my mom everything was fine and everything went back to normal. I went back to my normal job with my normal family and my normal guy. Everything felt right again. Two weeks later, I was working a slow day so I decided to go hit the boxing bag. I hadn't really hit much since leaving the WWE so it felt weird at first. But then I got into it. It was fun and I just kept hitting it and kicking it. I broke out a sweat and was slowly realizing how much I missed this. I looked up from the bag and saw a figure in the mirror. I screamed and turned around. In the doorway, with that same annoyingly sexy smirk, stood Jon. He laughed and I took out my earphones.  
"What are you doing? Trying to give me a heart attack?"  
"No, just watching you. You still got it."  
"I never lost it."  
I grabbed a towel and went out to the lobby. Jon sat down with me.  
"Is everything ok?" I was worried. Something has to be wrong.  
"Fine."  
"When did you get released?"  
"About a week ago. You left without saying goodbye."  
"Ok. Goodbye."  
I stood but Jon got in front of me. "I want you to come back to the WWE."  
"Um, no."  
"Why not? You said it yourself. You never lost it. You love wrestling and you're good at it."  
"I like my life now. I don't want to wrestle anymore. I like having a normal life."  
"Normal? Wow, I didn't know you got boring."  
"Jon." I tried to go around him but he blocked my path.  
"I'm not leaving until I hear a yes."  
"I'm not doing this anymore."  
"Ray. Come on. You love it."  
"Jon, I'm not going back."  
"Then you leave me with no choice."  
He grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder.  
"Jon! Put me down!"  
He walked out of the gym and put me in his car. Colby came running out of the gym with my bag and we went to my house. Joe came out with a suitcase. He sat in the back with me and we drove to the arena where WWE was hosting Battleground. The boys took me out of the car and took me into the arena and sat me down. Mark sat behind his desk.  
"Hello, Ray."  
"Mark, I don't appreciated being kidnapped."  
Mark looked at the guys. "I told you to let her come back on her own terms."  
Jon smiled. "The kidnapping was implied."  
Mark shook his head and then looked at me. "We want you to come back."  
"I don't know."  
"We'll give whatever you want. We want you back."  
"I don't know. What would I get?"  
"For starters? The WWE World Heavyweight Championship."  
Wait, what?

Credit to Stephanie McMahon. The line "I never lost it', was something Stephanie said on NXT Takeover when the crowd chanted 'you still got it'. I thought it was funny so I used it.


	36. The Face of the Company

"Are you serious?"  
"Couldn't be more serious."  
"We've never had a girl as WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Let alone the face of the company."  
"Things are changing, Ray. And we want you to be the face of that change."  
"I don't know."  
"Look, we want you to go out there, in full disguise and interrupt the championship match. You'll be put into the match and you'll beat the current champion, Randy Orton. You'll reveal tomorrow night that it was you who won the championship and that's it. Look, if you don't want to do it, it's fine. But we would like you to."  
I thought about it. This could go bad so fast. Or it could be very good. "Ok, I'll do it. But, only if my boys are at my side."  
"Done."  
I shook Mark's hand and I went to get ready. I went to the dressing room and they flattened my chest and put me in loose black clothes. I put on a mask and you couldn't tell if I was a boy or a girl. I went to the entrance and got prepared.  
"Hey, good luck out there." Jon told me before I entered the arena.

I was held above the ring as I sat on top of The Shield's shoulders. I held the championship up high. The crowd had a mixed reaction. The guys took me out for dinner and we went to my house. The boys decided to stay with me at my house instead of a hotel since RAW would be held in Florida. We slept in the living room and we fell asleep quickly. I woke up early in the morning and went upstairs to take a shower. I rubbed my eyes as I entered the bathroom and ran into someone. I looked up and saw Jon with wet hair, shirtless and in a pair of sweats.  
I backed up quickly. "Oh, sorry."  
"Good morning to you too."  
"Shut up, Jon."  
Jon looked me over. "Did anyone tell you how hot you look in the morning?"  
"Not in the mood. Can you leave, please? I want to take a shower."  
"Ok, ok. I'll leave you alone."  
He left the bathroom and I took my shower. When I got out, I got dressed and went downstairs to the smell of pancakes. I looked and saw Jon, Joe, Colby, my step dad and Natasha at the table eating.  
"These pancakes are amazing!" Colby said.  
"Why thank you, Colby." My mother said.  
I sat down at the table and my mom brought me a plate. I ate pancakes with the guys and my family. It was amazing. After we ate, we went to the gym and worked out. We headed to the arena afterwards and I got ready for my rematch against Randy Orton. I had my match and won and revealed that it was me. The crowd roared and chanted my name as I held the title above me. The guys came out and went with me backstage. People congratulated me and I realized that this was where I really belonged. Here. This was my family.

I was working out in the gym area lifting weights after RAW.  
"Hey."  
I looked and saw Jon. "Hey."  
"What are you still doing here? RAW ended hours ago."  
"I decided to stay behind and work out. What about you?"  
"Didn't feel like going anywhere."  
"What about Ashley?"  
"Oh, I broke up with her."  
"When?"  
"After I got out."  
"Really? I thought you liked her?"  
"I did but it really wasn't going to work out."  
"Why?"  
"Because I knew I was in love with someone else."  
I started to drop the bar and Jon came over and helped me put it back up. I turned around and there he was with that annoying smirk on his face.  
"Mr. Good, are you flirting with me?"  
"Can't pull one over on you, can I?"  
I just shook my head. He leaned down and kissed me and I let him. I knew we still had issues and I knew that we needed to still work things out but somewhere in me I knew he was the I wanted to be with. Jon was the only man I wanted to be with. He meant more to me than grudges and part of me knew I meant more to him than alcohol. He was my everything and I couldn't think of any other man I trusted with my heart more than him.  
He pulled away. "So, Ms. Kingsley, does this mean that you still want me?"  
"What do you think?"  
"I think you do. You can't not love all of this."  
"Oh really? And why is that?"  
"Baby, I'm Jonathan Good."  
I just shook my head and pulled his lips against mine.


	37. Finale: Epilogue

~Two Years Later~

Today was the day. I had been dreaming about this day for a long time. I couldn't believe it was finally here.  
"Ray, are you...oh, you look beautiful."  
I turned and saw my mom.  
"Mom, don't cry. Please don't cry."  
"I'm not crying it's just...you look beautiful, Ray."  
I smiled. "Thank you."  
I looked at my outfit in the mirror and April fixed my hair again. I took a deep breath and I went to the entrance. The music hit and the doors opened. April, my mom and some of my other friends went out first. My step dad, which I now called dad, looped his arm in mine.  
"It's time."  
Natasha went through the doors and put flowers down. I walked through and everyone stood. I looked down the aisle and saw Jon. He was smiling and I smiled back. I walked down the aisle and met Jon.  
"Who gives this woman away?"  
"I do." My dad said. He took off the veil and I stepped up next to Jon.  
"You look beautiful."  
"You don't look half bad yourself, Mr. Good."  
He smiled before we looked at the preacher.  
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony..."

"Jonathan, do you take this woman to be your wife, to live together in holy matrimony, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to love her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"   
Jon looks at me. "I do."   
The preacher turns to me. "Ray, do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to love him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"  
"I sure do."  
The preacher nods. "Repeat after me. I, Jonathan, take you Ray, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."   
"I, Jonathan, take you Ray, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."  
The preacher turned to me. "Repeat after me. I, Ray, take you Jonathan, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."   
I turn to Jon. "I, Ray, take you Jonathan, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."  
"We will now exchange rings."  
I took the ring in my hand and Jon took a ring in his.  
Jon started first. "With this ring, I pledge to you that I will never leave you, I will never hurt you and I will always love you." He placed the ring on my finger.  
"With this ring, I promise to love you, to never leave you and cherish you till death do us part." I placed the ring on his finger.  
"By the power invested in me and under the laws of the state of Florida, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."  
Jon dipped me and kissed me. We pulled away and turned to the crowd. "I now pronounce to you Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Good!"  
The crowd cheered and Jon and I ran out of the building.

"You do look beautiful." Jon says as he spins me around.  
"Thank you, Mr. Good."  
"You are welcome, Mrs. Good."  
"It will take some time to get used to that."  
"Take all the time you need. I'm still going to be right here."  
"You know what I just realized?"  
"What's that?"  
"We still have work Monday night."  
Jon laughed. "Yep."  
"So we don't even get a honeymoon?"  
"A weekend."  
"A weekend? That's it? So unfair."  
"A weekend, a night. It doesn't really matter to me. All that matters is that we're married."  
"Wow, Jon. I didn't know you were so corny."  
"A woman changes a man, I guess."  
"Whatever. I bet you're still the same old Jon as before."  
"Well, I guess we'll see." He starts kissing me on the dance floor. Yep, he is still as good a kisser as he was when we first kissed.  
He pulls away and I lay on his chest. We twirl around the floor some more until it is time to cut the cake. We go through all the festivities and then get in our car and leave the reception. We drive to an airport and board a plane that goes to the Bahamas. I look over at Jon who is asleep. I love this man. We've been through so much together. I remember when this man was the bane of my existence but now, I couldn't imagine being married to anyone but him. He meant the world to me. He stopped drinking and it made me love him even more than I already did. This man was my everything. I could finally free myself and trust someone. This man changed my life. I loved my new husband, Jonathan Good.  
"I love you, Mrs. Good."  
I smiled. "I love you, too, Mr. Good."  
He smiled and I kissed him before falling asleep on his chest. This was the start of my new life with the man they like to call The Lunatic Fringe, Jonathan Good.


	38. Bonus Chapter: A Ray and Jon Christmas

"Jon!"  
I heard footsteps rush down the stairs.  
"Yeah? What is it?"  
"Could you help me out here?"  
"Yeah, baby, sure."  
Jon came over and lifted me out of my chair. I was pregnant with our second child. Our first, AJ, was five years old. Jon and I lived happily in Florida for about three years until we decided to move to Pennsylvania to raise AJ.  
"I swear I am about to pop."  
"You know what the doctor said. Sometimes the baby just doesn't want to come out."  
"I know but I wish he would. He is making this a lot tougher."  
"I know. But also know, you'll get through this."  
I nodded and walked over to the fridge. Our baby, who we are going to name Seth, has decided that it is not his time to be born. I looked like a water balloon that got filled with too much water. It was almost Christmas and Seth was supposed to be born a week ago. Jon wasn't worried but I sure was. It was scary not knowing what was going on inside your own body. I got out a water and went over to the window. I watched as Jon went and played outside with AJ. They were so cute. It made me think about everything that Jon and I had to go through to get where we are at. We went through so much together and somehow I knew that Jon was right. I knew we could make it through this too. Jon and I no longer were wrestlers. Jon decided that it was best for us to be home with AJ instead of on the road all the time. We opened our very own wrestling gym and it is very successful. We get to take care of AJ and still do what we loved to do. Wrestle. I sat back down and turned on the t.v. I fell asleep some time later. Tomorrow was Christmas and I couldn't wait to see the look on AJ's face when she opened up her gifts. 

AJ woke me and Jon up in the morning and unwrapped her presents. She got a replica Diva's title and some other toys too. Jon bought me a necklace that was very beautiful and I bought him some dvds he had been wanting. I had to get ready for the rest of the day because Joe's family, my family, Colby, April and Phil were all coming over to eat. As I started to stand, I felt something. I looked down.  
"Uh, Jon!"  
He came down the stairs. "What?"  
"Well, looks like Seth wants to be born now."  
Jon looked and ran upstairs. He grabbed AJ and my bag and we left for the hospital.

Giving birth sucks. I mean, they tell you that it is the greatest and most beautiful experience but it hurts. Thank you modern medicine. We rushed to the hospital and I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Seth Joseph Good.   
"Hey, Christmas baby."  
He was the tiniest thing. He had big blue eyes just like his dad. He was so cute.  
"Mommy, is that my baby brother?"  
"Yes, AJ, it is."  
"What is his name?"  
"Seth."  
AJ looked down at her sleeping brother. "I promise I will always take care of you. No matter what it is, I will protect you." She kissed his forehead.  
"That is very sweet, AJ."  
She smiled and sat down next to me. I looked at my family and I knew this is what I've always wanted.

Later, everyone came to the hospital. They all thought the baby was cute. We had lunch in the cafeteria and we had a fun time. Even though our Christmas lunch was not as good as it could have been, we made the most of it. We didn't have to have a tree, we didn't need a huge meal, we didn't even need to have it in a nice, decorated house. We had each other and that's all that mattered.

Everyone left soon after lunch and I was left with my family again. AJ was playing with one of her wrestling figures while Seth slept in my arms. Jon sat next to my bed and held my hand.  
"He's beautiful." I kissed his forehead.  
"You're beautiful."  
I looked over at Jon. "Still the flirter, I see?"  
He kissed my hand and smiled.  
"I'm sorry that we didn't have the most normal of Christmases."  
"Ray, it's fine. This is the best Christmas I've ever had. Besides, we were never ones for normal."  
"I know but I just wanted a normal family Christmas and yet we are stuck in a hospital."  
"It happens. Anyways, this baby is the best present anyone could ever give me. Whether we are in a hospital surrounded by wires and tubes or sitting around a fireplace at home, it doesn't matter. All I need is you, my babies and my friends and it will still be a good Christmas."  
"Wow, Jon. When did you get so corny?"  
"When I met you."  
I smiled and kissed him.  
"Mommy! Daddy! Look!"  
AJ ran to the window. We both looked as snow fell down outside.   
"Wow, a white Christmas." I said.  
"Daddy, can we go outside?"  
Jon looked to me. I nodded and Jon helped AJ with her coat. He kissed my forehead before heading outside with AJ. I watched out the window and saw them having a snowball fight. I smiled at the sight. I rocked Seth in my arms. Yes, Jon was right. This was a great Christmas.  
"Merry Christmas, Seth."  
I kissed his forehead before looking out the window once more. I put Seth in his crib and fell asleep. Not a normal Christmas but it was still the best Christmas of them all.


End file.
